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Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat
by Jen Mann
In this hilariously irreverent collection of essays, Jen Mann, nationally bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat, turns her mordant wit on the holidays. On Mann's naughty list: mothers who go way overboard with their Elf on the Shelf, overzealous carolers who can't take a hint, and people who write their Christmas cards in the third person ('Joyce is enjoying Bunko.' Yeah, Joyce, we know you wrote this letter.). And on her nice list... well, she's working on that one. Here, no celebration is off-limits. The essays include: You Can Keep Your Cookies, I'm Just Here for the Booze; Nice Halloween Costume. Was Skank Sold Out?; Why You Won't Be Invited to Our Chinese New Year Party. From hosting an ill-fated Chinese New Year party, to receiving horrible gifts from her husband on Mother's Day, to reluctantly telling her son the truth about the Easter Bunny, Mann knows the challenge of navigating the holidays while keeping her sanity intact.
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Santa Cruise: A Holiday Mystery at Sea
by Mary Higgins Clark
Alvirah Meehan, the lottery winner turned amateur sleuth; her husband, Willy; recently hitched private detective Regan Reilly and her groom, Jack, head of the NYPD Major Case Squad; and Regan's parents, Nora and Luke, are guests on the Royal Mermaid's maiden voyage, the Santa Cruise. The cruise is Commodore Randolph Weed's gift to a select group of people who in the last year made the world a better place. He also plans to scatter his beloved mother's ashes at sea during this four-day odyssey in the Caribbean. What he doesn't know is that his ne'er-do-well nephew, Eric, has smuggled two escaping criminals on board. Alvirah won the cruise at a charity auction and persuaded the Reillys' to accompany her and Willy. Other passengers include members of the Oklahoma Readers and Writers group, who volunteer their time teaching people to read. There are also ten men on board who had donated their time playing Santa Claus during the holiday season as well as assorted other charitable folk, all planning on a restful post-Christmas vacation. The hoped-for tranquility soon vanishes. A terrified mystery fan swears she has spotted the Ghost of Honor in the ship's chapel. Two Santa suits disappear from a locked supply room. A storm develops, and in the infirmary an attempt is made on the life of a seemingly feeble passenger. Back in Miami, a TV reporter is turning the cruise into a public-relations nightmare, thanks to her spies on the ship. As the Royal Mermaid sails through troubled waters, Alvirah, Regan, and Jack are uncovering the clues that lead them to dangerous criminals who were not on the original guest list!
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Just Like Magic
by Sarah Hogle
Bettie Hughes once knew the comfort of luxury before she lost all her money. Long obsessed with her public image, Bettie boasts an extravagant lifestyle on social media. But the reality is Bettie is broke and squatting in Colorado, and her family has no idea.
Christmas, with its pressure to meet familial expectations, is looming when Bettie plays a vinyl record of “All I Want for Christmas Is You” backward and accidentally conjures up Hall, the Holiday Spirit, in the form of a charming and handsome (if offbeat) man. Once the shock wears off, Bettie knows she’s stumbled upon the greatest gift: a chance to make all her holiday wishes come true, plus a ready-made fiancé.
But as some of Bettie’s wishes lose their charm, she finds herself thrown off-kilter by Hall’s sweet nature. Suddenly, grumpy Bettie is finding her heart merry and light. But the happier she gets, the shorter Hall’s time on earth grows. Can Bettie channel the Christmas spirit and learn to live with goodwill toward all men? Or will her selfish ways return as soon as the holidays are over?
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I'll Get Back to You
by Becca Grischow
Murphy was supposed to be settling into her junior year at the University of Illinois with her best friend Kat. Instead, she's stuck in a hellish suburban holding pattern: living with her parents, failing the same class that kept her from graduating the first time around, and making minimum wage at the same coffee shop she's worked at since she was sixteen. It doesn't help that the dating pool for a twenty-one-year-old lesbian in the tiny town of Geneva, Illinois, is anemic at best. When her and Kat's long-awaited reunion is plagued by stuttering conversation and uninvited guests, Murphy's resentment threatens to boil over. That is, until a miracle appears in the form of Ellie Meyers, a former classmate who is way cuter and not nearly as straight as Murphy remembers. Their heavy flirting holds the promise of something more--until Murphy learns that Ellie's mom is the very professor preparing to flunk Murphy for a second semester in a row--
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We Met in December
by Rosie Curtis
Twenty-nine-year-old Jess is following her dream and moving to London. It’s December, and she’s taking a room in a crumbling, but grand, Notting Hill house-share with four virtual strangers. On her first night, Jess meets Alex, the guy sharing her floor, at a Christmas dinner hosted by her landlord. They don’t kiss, but as far as Jess is concerned the connection is clear. She starts planning how they will knock down the wall between them to spend more time together.
But when Jess returns from a two-week Christmas holiday, she finds Alex has started dating someone else—beautiful Emma, who lives on the floor above them. Now Jess faces a year of bumping into (hell, sharing a bathroom with) the man of her dreams…and the woman of his.
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Start Without Me
by Joshua Max Feldman
A recovering alcoholic struggling with esteem issues while trying to return home for Thanksgiving and a pregnant flight attendant from a racially torn family forge an unlikely bond over the course of a day marked by fragile emotions, past reckonings and important decisions about their futures.
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The Gift
by Freida McFadden
She is so broke that despite working two jobs, she can’t even afford a present for her husband on their first Christmas as man and wife. But then a mysterious storekeeper at a pawn shop offers Stella an intriguing trade.
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Skipping Christmas
by John Grisham
In this classic tale for modern times, beloved storyteller John Grisham offers a hilarious look at the chaos and frenzy that have become part of our holiday tradition. Imagine a year without Christmas. No crowded malls, no corny office parties, no fruitcakes, no unwanted presents. That's just what Luther and Nora Krank have in mind when they decide that, just this once, they'll skip the holiday altogether. Theirs will be the only house on Hemlock Street without a rooftop Frosty, they won't be hosting their annual Christmas Eve bash, they aren't even going to have a tree. They won't need one, because come December 25 they're setting sail on a Caribbean cruise. But as this weary couple is about to discover, skipping Christmas brings enormous consequences--and isn't half as easy as they'd imagined.
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This is Not a Holiday Romance
by Camilla Isley
Nina Thompson has one Christmas wish: to avoid her brother’s obnoxiously handsome best friend, Tristan, like the plague. From the moment he humiliated her as a teenager to their escalating revenge schemes, Nina and Tristan’s relationship can only be defined as an all-out prank war! And there is yet to be a winner. But it just so happens the ghost of Christmas present has other ideas. When Tristan unexpectedly crashes her family’s Christmas, Nina’s dreams of a peaceful holiday vanish faster than Santa up a chimney. Determined to end their rivalry for good, she braces herself for one last prank-filled showdown. But when they find themselves snowed in, with no way of avoiding each other amongst the holiday festivities, they discover their heated exchanges have been masking a different kind of sizzle. Caught in a snow globe of holiday romance, they decide to let their fiery chemistry burn bright—but this is absolutely and unequivocally nothing more than a secret fling destined to melt with the snow, this is not a forever romance…
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Walking in a Witchy Wonderland
by Juliette Cross
Five sexy stories set in the STAY A SPELL world you don't want to miss.
Bewitch You A Merry Christmas: Always the peacemaker, Evie conjures Christmas magic between a hexed hottie and his witchy neighbor, while Mateo and Alpha plan to do whatever it takes to get some alone time with their girl.
Rockin' Around The Hexmas Tree: A Dirty Santa gift with a very special hex boosts Devraj and Isadora's sex life from sizzling hot to scorching.
Jingle Bell Jock: On New Year's Eve, a new man puts the moves on Charlie. Tired of pining for his best friend, he's ready to move on. Fortunately, JJ's jealousy is just the right ingredient to move them well out of the friend zone.
You're A Mean One, Mr. Grim: Her first glimpse of grim reaper Gareth Blackwater evokes a major case of insta-hate in Lavinia. In that same moment, Gareth is hit with insta-lust. Fate is playing with them both, and neither one is happy about it.
Jingle Spells: Nico and Violet laugh their way through their first babysitting adventure. But laughter turns to lust when Nico's dad vibes tug on Violet's maternal heartstrings.
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Holiday Amnesia
by Lynette Eason
With no memory, who can she trust? Robin Hardy survived an explosion in her university lab--but her memories are gone. With danger lurking behind every Christmas tree, she needs shelter from the attackers she can't identify. She'll trust fellow professor Toby Potter to safely hide her away. But when his secrets come between them, the truth could mean the difference between life and death this holiday season.
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Rachel's Holiday
by Marian Keyes
When Rachel's love of a good time finally lands her in the emergency room, her family hustles her back home to Ireland and checks her into a rehab clinic. There Rachel is led, against her will, to some important self-knowledge and, even more frightening, to a man who might actually be good for her.
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A Not-So Holiday Paradise
by Gracie Ruth Mitchell
Things you bring on a desert island...Sunscreen, obviously. Because these Irish freckles of mine will burn, baby, burn, and lobster red is not a great color on me .An extra dose of my seizure meds, just in case. A backpack full of snacks, including but not limited to a canteen of Dr. Pepper, a box of mini Christmas cookies, and granola bars-the gross crumbly kind, not the chocolate chip kind, because I'm trying to be healthy. Sunglasses, so that when I inevitably wind up staring at my brother's best friend-who I haven't seen in years-no one will be able to tell. I've been in love with him for years, but it would never work out; he lives on a literal island, while I'm still in grad school. It can't hurt to look, though, right? Also bug spray. My packing list is all well and good for a quick port excursion as part of my family's Christmas cruise. But when the cruise ship leaves me behind, with only the contents of my bag and my brother's best friend to keep me company? Well, I've got problems-especially since I'm going to run out of medicine soon. And I don't think they make sunscreen strong enough to block the sparks that are growing between Beckett and me...
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The Holiday Trap
by Roan Parrish
When Greta, a lesbian living in Maine trying to figure out who she is, and Truman, recovering from a breakup with his boyfriend in New Orleans, swap houses over Christmas, they each must decide whether the love they each found so far from home is worth fighting for.
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Great Classic Holiday Stories: Nine Unabridged Short Stories
by Various Authors
Enjoy the traditions of holidays past with this classic collection of fun and touching stories. Includes selected readings from Charles Dickens' timeless A Christmas Carol, the text of the original newspaper editorial Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus, which has become an indelible part of popular Christmas folklore, O. Henry's unforgettable story The Gift of the Magi, and much more.
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Who Slayed the Santas?
by Leighann Dobbs
It’s Christmas in the Holiday Mansion and Juniper has this years party gift-wrapped and under the tree! Christmas at the Holiday mansion is always a festive affair. The residents of Crescent Cove look forward to Juniper’s yard decorations almost as much as an invitation to one of her parties—and this year everyone has been invited. What could possibly go wrong with a mansion full of people and non-humans? Murder of the ho-ho-ho variety, that’s what. Santa’s not so jolly anymore and Juniper can’t help but be suspicious of Mrs. Claus. Detective Mallard is convinced one of the elves is responsible. Victoria thinks it was an accident. Nobody can be sure, however, because there was no witness—not even the ghosts saw what happened. Juniper is determined to discover the murderer before Christmas Day, which doesn’t give her much time. Will she manage, or will Santa’s murderer go free to sleigh again?
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Plainfield Area Public Library
15025 S. Illinois St.
Plainfield, Illinois 60544
815.436.6639papl.info |
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