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Breathing Lessons
Maggie and Ira Moran have been married for twenty-eight years–and it shows: in their quarrels, in their routines, in their ability to tolerate with affection each other’s eccentricities. Maggie, a kooky, lovable meddler and an irrepressible optimist, wants nothing more than to fix her son’s broken marriage. Ira is infuriatingly practical, a man “who should have married Ann Landers.”
What begins as a day trip to a funeral becomes an adventure in the unexpected. As Maggie and Ira navigate the riotous twists and turns, they intersect with an assorted cast of eccentrics–and rediscover the magic of the road called life and the joy of having somebody next to you to share the ride . . . bumps and all.
--back cover
What begins as a day trip to a funeral becomes an adventure in the unexpected. As Maggie and Ira navigate the riotous twists and turns, they intersect with an assorted cast of eccentrics–and rediscover the magic of the road called life and the joy of having somebody next to you to share the ride . . . bumps and all.
--back cover
368 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published August 12, 1988
About the author
Anne Tyler
107 books7,211 followersAnne Tyler was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in 1941 and grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina. She graduated at nineteen from Duke University and went on to do graduate work in Russian studies at Columbia University. She has published 20 novels, her debut novel being
If Morning Ever Comes
in (1964). Her eleventh novel,
Breathing Lessons
, was awarded the Pulitzer Prize in 1988. She is a member of the American Academy of Arts and Letters.
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May 13, 2021
I finished reading Anne Tyler’s Breathing Lessons a week ago, but I found myself thinking about it a lot, especially during the recent holidays.
Tyler’s specialty is family and marriage, and while sitting down to countless meals, chatting with parents, siblings, in-laws, nieces, nephews, extended relatives and seeing little grievances and grudges pop up and then be gently patted back down, hearing current events be analyzed in smart or odd or even offensive ways, seeing patterns (some good, some regretful) emerge among family members… I realized how well the author knows people.
On the surface, Breathing Lessons, which won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction in 1989, seems like such a simple tale. Set during a single day, it tells the story of Maggie and Ira Moran, a middle-aged Baltimore couple who set out one morning to attend the funeral of the husband of Maggie’s best friend, Serena, in Deer Lick, Pennsylvania, 90 miles away.
Maggie, who’s got an (over)active imagination, also gets it into her head to visit Fiona, her ex-daughter-in-law, and her grandchild. She secretly wants Fiona and her son Jesse to get back together again. She thinks, rightly or wrongly, that they still love each other, and that their constant skirmishes and their pride have kept them apart.
That’s the story – “in a nutshell,” as one of Tyler’s characters might say.
But that’s certainly not the book. Tyler is so good at adding texture and incident to characters, so their lives feel rich and real. The way Maggie and Ira initially get together is surprising but feels right. Ira’s early home life – he oversees his father’s frame shop and helps support his two sisters – will change how you feel about him later on when he might seem like a smug, cold, solitaire-playing curmudgeon.
Some of the book’s early sequences are just stand-alone brilliant. At the funeral, Serena demands that everyone who sang at her wedding sing the same song at her husband’s funeral. The mourners are mortified, but someone comes through with a lovely gesture.
(Side note: Pay attention to those songs, from “True Love” to “Love Is A Many Splendored Thing.” They bring up thematic material that resonates throughout the book. What Ira whistles to himself will tell you a lot about what’s on his mind. And near the end there’s a song playing in a supermarket that Maggie and Ira begin harmonizing to... I didn’t recognize it, so looked it up on Apple Music. It stuck in my head for days. I can see how the Morans knew it so well.)
And another sequence, a lengthy one set on a highway, gives you a glimpse at a relationship that’s lasted even longer than Ira and Maggie’s. This whole section demonstrates what Tyler does so well: mix straight on observation with comedy and a streak of melancholy, all written in a recognizable, middle-American vernacular.
The gentle and often not-so-gentle bickering between Tyler’s characters reminded me of the banter between my father (taciturn, solitary) and my late mother (gregarious, always chatty with strangers, scattered, well-meaning).
Tyler has affection for her characters, however flawed, and she understands the small and big mistakes and compromises they’ve made on the road of life. Don't be surprised if you start questioning whether Maggie did the right thing at a critical moment in Fiona's (and Jesse's) life.
This isn’t the showiest book I read in 2015. But it’s one of the wisest and the most humane. I still think Dinner At The Homesick Restaurant is Tyler’s masterpiece, and there are unforgettable things about The Accidental Tourist. But this is almost as good.
Tyler’s specialty is family and marriage, and while sitting down to countless meals, chatting with parents, siblings, in-laws, nieces, nephews, extended relatives and seeing little grievances and grudges pop up and then be gently patted back down, hearing current events be analyzed in smart or odd or even offensive ways, seeing patterns (some good, some regretful) emerge among family members… I realized how well the author knows people.
On the surface, Breathing Lessons, which won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction in 1989, seems like such a simple tale. Set during a single day, it tells the story of Maggie and Ira Moran, a middle-aged Baltimore couple who set out one morning to attend the funeral of the husband of Maggie’s best friend, Serena, in Deer Lick, Pennsylvania, 90 miles away.
Maggie, who’s got an (over)active imagination, also gets it into her head to visit Fiona, her ex-daughter-in-law, and her grandchild. She secretly wants Fiona and her son Jesse to get back together again. She thinks, rightly or wrongly, that they still love each other, and that their constant skirmishes and their pride have kept them apart.
That’s the story – “in a nutshell,” as one of Tyler’s characters might say.
But that’s certainly not the book. Tyler is so good at adding texture and incident to characters, so their lives feel rich and real. The way Maggie and Ira initially get together is surprising but feels right. Ira’s early home life – he oversees his father’s frame shop and helps support his two sisters – will change how you feel about him later on when he might seem like a smug, cold, solitaire-playing curmudgeon.
Some of the book’s early sequences are just stand-alone brilliant. At the funeral, Serena demands that everyone who sang at her wedding sing the same song at her husband’s funeral. The mourners are mortified, but someone comes through with a lovely gesture.
(Side note: Pay attention to those songs, from “True Love” to “Love Is A Many Splendored Thing.” They bring up thematic material that resonates throughout the book. What Ira whistles to himself will tell you a lot about what’s on his mind. And near the end there’s a song playing in a supermarket that Maggie and Ira begin harmonizing to... I didn’t recognize it, so looked it up on Apple Music. It stuck in my head for days. I can see how the Morans knew it so well.)
And another sequence, a lengthy one set on a highway, gives you a glimpse at a relationship that’s lasted even longer than Ira and Maggie’s. This whole section demonstrates what Tyler does so well: mix straight on observation with comedy and a streak of melancholy, all written in a recognizable, middle-American vernacular.
The gentle and often not-so-gentle bickering between Tyler’s characters reminded me of the banter between my father (taciturn, solitary) and my late mother (gregarious, always chatty with strangers, scattered, well-meaning).
Tyler has affection for her characters, however flawed, and she understands the small and big mistakes and compromises they’ve made on the road of life. Don't be surprised if you start questioning whether Maggie did the right thing at a critical moment in Fiona's (and Jesse's) life.
This isn’t the showiest book I read in 2015. But it’s one of the wisest and the most humane. I still think Dinner At The Homesick Restaurant is Tyler’s masterpiece, and there are unforgettable things about The Accidental Tourist. But this is almost as good.
February 25, 2022
STORIA DI MOLTI
Nel TV movie del 1994 della Hallmark, diretto da John Erman, Maggie è Joanne Woodward e Ira è James Garner.
Il mio primo incontro con questa scrittrice (ne sono seguiti una decina).
Per lei, l’occasione di vincere il Pulitzer, dopo essere già stata candidata.
Secondo me il suo libro migliore dopo Homesick Restaurant - Ristorante Nostalgia, che per inciso è anche quello che lei preferisce tra tutti i suoi.
Breathing Lessons - Lezioni di respiro è temporalmente compatto, si svolge un sabato mattina di inizio autunno, nell’arco di qualche ora durante le quali la coppia protagonista, Ira e Maggie Moran, vanno fuori città al funerale del marito della migliore amica di lei.
Sono una coppia ordinaria che viene dalla paeriferia di Baltimora, la città sulla costa est che Tyler ha eletto a domicilio suo e di tutte le sue storie.
Edward Hopper: Gas (1940, MOMA, New York).
Il senso di perdita e abbandono aleggia già per l’obiettivo della loro gita.
Ma nell’auto, le miglia che scorrono, la coppia si rende conto che stanno entrando nella mezza età, e forse è già successo, sensazione che acuisce la loro solitudine innestata dal funerale. La figlia minore, l’ultima rimasta in casa, domani partirà per andare a studiare al college. Altra dose di abbandono e solitudine.
A Ira e Maggie non resta che l’uno per l’altra e viceversa, pur nella loro enorme diversità, che non impedisce a ciascuno dei due di conoscere i comportamenti dell’altro/a probabilmente meglio di quanto conosca i propri.
La situazione, il viaggio, la malinconia si prestano all’uso dei flashback per riportare a galla particolari momenti del passato. E anche se i chilometri percorsi su strada alla fine non sono molti, l’arco di tempo rivissuto invece è lungo.
Luca Oleastri: Stazione di servizio.
Come sempre la gente che abita le pagine scritte da Anne Tyler è fondamentalmente cortese: anche i personaggi meno gradevoli hanno un tratto di umana gentilezza che li colloca in un universo di assoluta singolarità. Lei stessa è maestra nel fondere ironia e malinconia, moderato pathos e umorismo. Ha un dono incomparabile: sa descrivere la quotidiana normalità di uomini e donne, cogliendone le debolezze, le paure, le insofferenze e le gioie con una sensibilità fuori dall'ordinario. Poi, con delicatezza e sottile ironia le utilizza per generare storie che sono vicine e familiari, sono le storie, i pensieri, i dialoghi, i piccoli e fastidiosi conflitti della vita di tutti ogni giorno.
Wim Wenders: Edward Hopper in 3D (cortometraggio, 2020).
Nel TV movie del 1994 della Hallmark, diretto da John Erman, Maggie è Joanne Woodward e Ira è James Garner.
Il mio primo incontro con questa scrittrice (ne sono seguiti una decina).
Per lei, l’occasione di vincere il Pulitzer, dopo essere già stata candidata.
Secondo me il suo libro migliore dopo Homesick Restaurant - Ristorante Nostalgia, che per inciso è anche quello che lei preferisce tra tutti i suoi.
Breathing Lessons - Lezioni di respiro è temporalmente compatto, si svolge un sabato mattina di inizio autunno, nell’arco di qualche ora durante le quali la coppia protagonista, Ira e Maggie Moran, vanno fuori città al funerale del marito della migliore amica di lei.
Sono una coppia ordinaria che viene dalla paeriferia di Baltimora, la città sulla costa est che Tyler ha eletto a domicilio suo e di tutte le sue storie.
Edward Hopper: Gas (1940, MOMA, New York).
Il senso di perdita e abbandono aleggia già per l’obiettivo della loro gita.
Ma nell’auto, le miglia che scorrono, la coppia si rende conto che stanno entrando nella mezza età, e forse è già successo, sensazione che acuisce la loro solitudine innestata dal funerale. La figlia minore, l’ultima rimasta in casa, domani partirà per andare a studiare al college. Altra dose di abbandono e solitudine.
A Ira e Maggie non resta che l’uno per l’altra e viceversa, pur nella loro enorme diversità, che non impedisce a ciascuno dei due di conoscere i comportamenti dell’altro/a probabilmente meglio di quanto conosca i propri.
La situazione, il viaggio, la malinconia si prestano all’uso dei flashback per riportare a galla particolari momenti del passato. E anche se i chilometri percorsi su strada alla fine non sono molti, l’arco di tempo rivissuto invece è lungo.
Luca Oleastri: Stazione di servizio.
Come sempre la gente che abita le pagine scritte da Anne Tyler è fondamentalmente cortese: anche i personaggi meno gradevoli hanno un tratto di umana gentilezza che li colloca in un universo di assoluta singolarità. Lei stessa è maestra nel fondere ironia e malinconia, moderato pathos e umorismo. Ha un dono incomparabile: sa descrivere la quotidiana normalità di uomini e donne, cogliendone le debolezze, le paure, le insofferenze e le gioie con una sensibilità fuori dall'ordinario. Poi, con delicatezza e sottile ironia le utilizza per generare storie che sono vicine e familiari, sono le storie, i pensieri, i dialoghi, i piccoli e fastidiosi conflitti della vita di tutti ogni giorno.
Wim Wenders: Edward Hopper in 3D (cortometraggio, 2020).
March 20, 2022
Una divertida, conmovedora y, a veces, irritante historia sobre un matrimonio corriente con una vida corriente. Una historia que va surgiendo de los recuerdos y vivencias que marido y mujer tienen, no siempre coincidentes, a lo largo de un largo día; uno de esos matrimonios que sobreviven con una inquebrantable mala salud de hierro gracias y a pesar de ambos, Ira y, sobre todo, Maggie, personaje central y magistral de una novela que Anne Tyler escribió en estado de gracia y que mereció el premio Pulitzer de 1989.
“Mirar un día alrededor y que todo te sorprenda: a dónde has llegado, con quién te has casado, en qué clase de persona te has convertido. Supón que de repente te ves donde estabas... supón que comprando con tu hija... pero teniendo siete u ocho años y observando todo lo que has hecho. «¡Vaya!», te dirás. «¿Será posible que ésa sea yo? ¿Conduciendo un coche? ¿Tomando el mando? ¿Regañando a alguna jovencita como si yo lo supiera todo?» Entrarías en tu casa y dirías: «Bueno, pues no es que tenga un gusto espléndido, que digamos». Te mirarías en el espejo y dirías: «Dios mío, la barbilla se me empieza a curvar tal y como le pasó a mi madre.”Todo es engañosamente pequeño aquí, no hay grandes tragedias ni grandes problemas existenciales, ni grandes mentiras ni grandes traiciones, ni grandes héroes ni grandes mártires, solo defectos y virtudes corrientes danzando de un lado para otro en coreografías que todos conocemos y puestas en escena con una naturalidad exquisita, con un ritmo preciso, con un sentido del humor compasivo y con una finura y una lucidez admirable para resaltar el detalle preciso.
Maggie, torpe, peliculera, impúdicamente comunicativa con los extraños, impulsiva, cabezona, propensa a los accidentes y a los malentendidos, está en pleno síndrome del nido vacío y utilizará su patológica inclinación a inmiscuirse en la vida de los demás para intentar solucionarlo. Alérgica a toda situación que no encaje en sus fantasías sobre su vida y la de todos aquellos que la rodean no tiene escrúpulo alguno en manipular a quién haga falta en pos de sus objetivos ocultos, aunque siempre de buena fe y con resultados casi siempre desastrosos. Una característica de Maggie que le es especialmente irritante a su marido que no puede impedir unos repentinos ataques de sinceridad que acaban por complicar aún más las cosas.
"¿No crees que ahora ya debería saber cómo respirar?" Una lógica pregunta de una embarazada en su preparación al parto. Una pregunta en la que se basa el título de la obra y cuya interpretación puede ir desde la referencia a todas aquellas cosas importantes para las que no nos preparan mientras nos saturan con un sinfín de conocimientos inútiles, hasta el hecho de que las cosas más sencillas son las que siempre acabamos complicando, cayendo en los mismos errores una y otra vez o, por qué no, lo fácil que es olvidar hasta lo más simple cuando nos encontramos bajo presión. Es inevitable, como si de una maldición se tratara, siempre nos serán necesarios los ejercicios respiratorios.
June 4, 2020
A day in the ordinary lives of a middle-aged couple who have a complex, stubborn story together. Ira and Maggie are not easy to sympathize with, at least for this reader. I found Maggie irritating and her chatter quite distatessful, and Ira a cryptic man whom I never really managed to descipher.
Their children, now grown up, are quite a disappointment, particularly the elder boy, Jesse, who has divorced his young wife without fighting to be in the life of his daughter.
The real storyline takes place in Maggie's head where she tries to bring his son and estranged daughter-in-law together, failing as she did when she first managed to get them married due to an accidental pregnancy.
I couldn't finish the book fast enough. I found the writing tiresome and the plot more than predictable. The characters lacked depth and I felt myself growing tired of their petty tribulations.
If you want a profound and unsettling story of a marriage, please, read Salter's "Light Years and skip this novel.
Their children, now grown up, are quite a disappointment, particularly the elder boy, Jesse, who has divorced his young wife without fighting to be in the life of his daughter.
The real storyline takes place in Maggie's head where she tries to bring his son and estranged daughter-in-law together, failing as she did when she first managed to get them married due to an accidental pregnancy.
I couldn't finish the book fast enough. I found the writing tiresome and the plot more than predictable. The characters lacked depth and I felt myself growing tired of their petty tribulations.
If you want a profound and unsettling story of a marriage, please, read Salter's "Light Years and skip this novel.
June 10, 2022
I bought this book in college, right after it won the Pulitzer in 1989. I started it and thought. . . yeah, like I really want to read about an old married couple, fighting in their car. I not only did NOT continue to read it, I sold it at a used book store.
But, there it was again last month, mine for a quarter at an estate sale. I reminded myself that it HAD won a Pulitzer, and I was determined to read it this time.
I still struggled with the first 25 pages. And, even though I realized the "old couple" was no longer old in comparison (no, now they're just in their 40s, like me), they were initially boring to me, all over again.
I pushed on, and I'm glad I did. This novel is almost all dialogue, with a viable, well-written story and ridiculously believable characters. It's laugh-out-loud funny at times, and incredibly poignant at others.
I would recommend Breathing Lessons to just about any woman over 40, especially if she's married. This book is an incredible (and often hilarious) testament to marriage.
But, there it was again last month, mine for a quarter at an estate sale. I reminded myself that it HAD won a Pulitzer, and I was determined to read it this time.
I still struggled with the first 25 pages. And, even though I realized the "old couple" was no longer old in comparison (no, now they're just in their 40s, like me), they were initially boring to me, all over again.
I pushed on, and I'm glad I did. This novel is almost all dialogue, with a viable, well-written story and ridiculously believable characters. It's laugh-out-loud funny at times, and incredibly poignant at others.
I would recommend Breathing Lessons to just about any woman over 40, especially if she's married. This book is an incredible (and often hilarious) testament to marriage.
May 2, 2020
“Smells could bring a person back clearer than pictures, even; didn’t she know that?” (4.5 stars)
Anne Tyler has a way of writing and collecting the simple elements of life that thrills me. While reading this book I was reminded of emotions and feelings from moments in my life that I had forgotten I felt.
“Breathing Lessons” takes place over a single day and is broken into three parts, each part told from the first person perspective of one half of married couple, Maggie and Ira Moran.
Tyler captures better than anyone the exasperation and irritability that we can only feel for someone we are very comfortable with, and who we love very much. And she uses that in this beautiful work to remind us (without a single grand “romantic” gesture) why we need someone along with us for this ride we call life.
Ms. Tyler also captures the hysterically funny in everyday life. It is not knee slapping humor, it is real humor. If you stepped back from your day to day and listened to what was said in your home, and by you, you would realize that you are the star of a pretty darn funny show. There is a bit in Part II with a minor character named Mr. Otis that I just loved.
When I got to Part III of this text, I was reluctant to put it down. I cared about these people, even when (especially in Maggie’s case) they irritated me. Part III, chapter two has everything. It is a brilliantly rendered slice of life. I had all the feels while reading it.
One critic has called Tyler’s characters “happy-sad”, which is another way of saying she writes about us, and the way most of us live our lives! “Breathing Lessons” captures that reality, and reminds us to appreciate what we experience (good, bad, ugly, and everything in between) with those we love.
Anne Tyler has a way of writing and collecting the simple elements of life that thrills me. While reading this book I was reminded of emotions and feelings from moments in my life that I had forgotten I felt.
“Breathing Lessons” takes place over a single day and is broken into three parts, each part told from the first person perspective of one half of married couple, Maggie and Ira Moran.
Tyler captures better than anyone the exasperation and irritability that we can only feel for someone we are very comfortable with, and who we love very much. And she uses that in this beautiful work to remind us (without a single grand “romantic” gesture) why we need someone along with us for this ride we call life.
Ms. Tyler also captures the hysterically funny in everyday life. It is not knee slapping humor, it is real humor. If you stepped back from your day to day and listened to what was said in your home, and by you, you would realize that you are the star of a pretty darn funny show. There is a bit in Part II with a minor character named Mr. Otis that I just loved.
When I got to Part III of this text, I was reluctant to put it down. I cared about these people, even when (especially in Maggie’s case) they irritated me. Part III, chapter two has everything. It is a brilliantly rendered slice of life. I had all the feels while reading it.
One critic has called Tyler’s characters “happy-sad”, which is another way of saying she writes about us, and the way most of us live our lives! “Breathing Lessons” captures that reality, and reminds us to appreciate what we experience (good, bad, ugly, and everything in between) with those we love.
October 6, 2018
Dnf @ 24%
I cannot get into this book. I don't understand how this won a Pulitzer...
I cannot get into this book. I don't understand how this won a Pulitzer...
June 25, 2019
Only two stars for this tedious slice of life which by the way if this really is how life is lived you can shove it where the sun don’t shine. I think most of us would pay handsomely not to have to live these lives. And one of my stars is just for the scene where the middle aged couple are doing the now-compulsory-in-all-movies singalong-in-the- car and the song they sing is “On the Road Again” by Canned Heat – that surprised me, one of my favourites. Old pop music features quite strongly throughout, so of course I liked that – but beware, there’s an appearance of an excruciating number called “Tonight You Belong to Me” by two of Satan’s minions called Patience and Prudence – once heard, never, alas, forgotten, you can use bleach and industrial solvents but you will remember that terrible song on your deathbed – that sudden gasp the terminal patient makes towards the end is when somewhere in their brain they are remembering “Tonight You belong to me” by Patience and Prudence - anyway, where was I? Oh yes, this is a novel about a really very irritating woman. She’s the mother and she sticks her beak into her son’s lovelife to the extent of manipulating him into marrying one poor girl and when the thing ends in disaster she some years later tries desperately to manipulate them back together. That’s the top and bottom of it. Maggie, this is the said mother, is a very real character – so real I longed to unlatch the passenger car door so she could tragically topple out onto the highway during one of the several long car trips she takes. But that was not to be. The husband, this guy called Ira, sneers and berates her and passive-aggressively exposes her half-truths and outright lies to the assembled company to her everlasting mortification and when he has a spare moment whips out a pack of cards and plays patience – imprudently, you might say. Not one iota of affection can be discerned towards his wife during the whole book. Well, maybe that’s because she’s so irritating, but I thought this is supposed to be a thoughtful & sympathetic portrait of a marriage by Anne Tyler. Instead it’s a slog about a grumpy friendless guy who has a pushy meddling missus, we’ve seen this kind of set up in many old sitcoms but those scripts usually have some jokes or a laugh track to indicate where the jokes should be. Recommended for anyone visiting a dentist and wishing to pre-numb themselves.
"Minions of Satan"
"Minions of Satan"
June 6, 2019
We can essentially classify Pulitzer Prize for Fiction winners into three categories: the epic ("Age of Innocence," "Gone with the Wind," "Grapes of Wrath," "Confederacy of Dunces," "Lonesome Dove," "Amazing Adventures with Kavalier and Clay," "Middlesex"), the deeply personal ("Rabbit Is Rich," "Rabbit at Rest," "American Pastoral, "The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao," "Olive Kitteridge"), and the "personal epic" ("Beloved," "The Hours," "Interpreter of Maladies," "The Road," "A Visit from the Goon Squad"). "Breathing Lessons" by Anne Tyler belongs totally to the second of these. For a while, cohabitating a Norman Rockwellesque scene is amusing & even, gasp, spiritual. But after a while the normalness becomes, well, too ordinary. This is better than "Accidental Tourist" anyhow, & I bet that the Anne Tyler for my generation is Ann Patchett. But this one is not as extraordinary as the title of Champion of Champions will imply.
December 9, 2022
I can't get enough of Anne Tyler's novels!
I have started on her Pulitzer prize winning book Breathing Lessons. Tyler is a genius at shining a revealing light on REAL LIFE - the mundane, the monotonous, but also the quietly enchanting and uplifting moments of everyday life.
Maggie and Ira (such a mismatched pair - she is vivacious whereas Ira is stone-faced and quiet as the tomb) attend a funeral of a former schoolmate. The funeral evolves into an impromptu high school reunion.
The following passage had me bending over with breathless laughter. Serena - the widow and Maggie's high school best friend - had requested that Ira and Maggie sing "Love is a Many Splendored Thing" during the funeral memorial. Ira refused. Maggie was forced to sing the song by herself. Luckily, Durwood, an old high school friend and former admirer, piped in and gave her the vocal and moral support her husband Ira had flatly refused to provide. Maggie was infuriated with Ira and was regretting her youthful infatuation with him. What would life have been like had she married Durwood instead, who currently seemed to sync with her more than the stolid Ira ever could?
"... it was all a matter of comparison. Compared to Ira she looked silly and emotional; anybody would have. Compared to Ira she talked too much and laughed too much and cried too much. Even ate too much! Drank too much! Behaved so sloppily and mawkishly!
She'd been so intent on not turning into her mother, she had gone and turned into her father."
Tyler has a way of putting into words the thoughts and feelings that most of us share when we put a spotlight on the past and wonder "what if......" When we are young, many of us (present company included) rebelled and tried to make different choices, spurning our parents' safe, uninspiring lifestyles.
But with hindsight, we eventually realize that we can never completely leave behind the learned behaviour and dogma (or strictures) of our youth.
I still, to this day, have to fight the subconscious urge to get up on a Saturday morning and clean my home from top to bottom - gosh, how I hated that! I'm no slob: my desk often looks like two bombs went off when I am busy, but I never let too much time pass before I sweep up, mop the floors and get the laundry done and put away. HOW did I become my mother?!!!! That is what set me off.
Strange how I couldn't get into Anne Tyler when I was younger - maybe because I was still in my rebellious stage? Now, her truth just rolls over me in waves. She may not have uncovered the meaning of life, but she certainly can show us how to be more compassionate when faced with our own perceived shortcomings - to embrace them, even! Anne Tyler is a gem!
Well, I did finish this most excellent novel - finally! Work and my social life got in the way, but I also wanted to stretch this one out.
I absolutely loved flaky Maggie! It is good to be supportive of friends and family, but Maggie takes things to an extreme and downright meddles - with often disastrous results! Ira is the voice of reason and sanity. Such an odd couple, but they do love one other - perhaps because they "complete" each other (gosh, I really don't like that expression! But anyway!)
I highly recommend this one: I won't discuss the ending. Let's just say you will completely understand why it was awarded the Pulitzer. Real life, seasoned with a bit of levity and a few home truths. Loved it and didn't want this one to end!
I have started on her Pulitzer prize winning book Breathing Lessons. Tyler is a genius at shining a revealing light on REAL LIFE - the mundane, the monotonous, but also the quietly enchanting and uplifting moments of everyday life.
Maggie and Ira (such a mismatched pair - she is vivacious whereas Ira is stone-faced and quiet as the tomb) attend a funeral of a former schoolmate. The funeral evolves into an impromptu high school reunion.
The following passage had me bending over with breathless laughter. Serena - the widow and Maggie's high school best friend - had requested that Ira and Maggie sing "Love is a Many Splendored Thing" during the funeral memorial. Ira refused. Maggie was forced to sing the song by herself. Luckily, Durwood, an old high school friend and former admirer, piped in and gave her the vocal and moral support her husband Ira had flatly refused to provide. Maggie was infuriated with Ira and was regretting her youthful infatuation with him. What would life have been like had she married Durwood instead, who currently seemed to sync with her more than the stolid Ira ever could?
"... it was all a matter of comparison. Compared to Ira she looked silly and emotional; anybody would have. Compared to Ira she talked too much and laughed too much and cried too much. Even ate too much! Drank too much! Behaved so sloppily and mawkishly!
She'd been so intent on not turning into her mother, she had gone and turned into her father."
Tyler has a way of putting into words the thoughts and feelings that most of us share when we put a spotlight on the past and wonder "what if......" When we are young, many of us (present company included) rebelled and tried to make different choices, spurning our parents' safe, uninspiring lifestyles.
But with hindsight, we eventually realize that we can never completely leave behind the learned behaviour and dogma (or strictures) of our youth.
I still, to this day, have to fight the subconscious urge to get up on a Saturday morning and clean my home from top to bottom - gosh, how I hated that! I'm no slob: my desk often looks like two bombs went off when I am busy, but I never let too much time pass before I sweep up, mop the floors and get the laundry done and put away. HOW did I become my mother?!!!! That is what set me off.
Strange how I couldn't get into Anne Tyler when I was younger - maybe because I was still in my rebellious stage? Now, her truth just rolls over me in waves. She may not have uncovered the meaning of life, but she certainly can show us how to be more compassionate when faced with our own perceived shortcomings - to embrace them, even! Anne Tyler is a gem!
Well, I did finish this most excellent novel - finally! Work and my social life got in the way, but I also wanted to stretch this one out.
I absolutely loved flaky Maggie! It is good to be supportive of friends and family, but Maggie takes things to an extreme and downright meddles - with often disastrous results! Ira is the voice of reason and sanity. Such an odd couple, but they do love one other - perhaps because they "complete" each other (gosh, I really don't like that expression! But anyway!)
I highly recommend this one: I won't discuss the ending. Let's just say you will completely understand why it was awarded the Pulitzer. Real life, seasoned with a bit of levity and a few home truths. Loved it and didn't want this one to end!
March 8, 2023
Anne Tyler writes books about people-real people. The dialogue between these people just zinged with authenticity. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long while, but that’s how some of the conversations between Ira and Maggie hit me.
Ira and Maggie have been married 28 years. They go on a road trip to attend a funeral. Ira is the quiet, reasonable one and Maggie is the chatty, “wanting to fix everyone’s problem” person. She really means well, but poor Maggie, she just can’t seem to get it right.
Maggie wants what every mother wants- to see her kids happy and productive. I was really hurt on her behalf when she recounted her daughter saying to her, “Mom? Was there a certain conscious point in your life when you decided to settle for being ordinary?” Teenage daughters can certainly be heartbreakers to their mothers.
Much as Ira and Maggie bicker, you do sense their underlying love. This from Ira, “ And his wife! He loved her, but he couldn’t stand how she refused to take her own life seriously. She seemed to believe it was a sort of practice life, something she could afford to play around with as if they offered second and third chances to get it right. She was always making clumsy, impetuous rushes toward nowhere in particular- side trips, random detours.” But, he was always there for her- I loved that!
This book is a book that looks at this one couple’s marriage and bares it to us- it was an incredible portrayal of the mundane, the foibles but also the BOND. A lot of it rang true to this reader. I loved getting to know Maggie and Ira!
Published: 1988
Ira and Maggie have been married 28 years. They go on a road trip to attend a funeral. Ira is the quiet, reasonable one and Maggie is the chatty, “wanting to fix everyone’s problem” person. She really means well, but poor Maggie, she just can’t seem to get it right.
Maggie wants what every mother wants- to see her kids happy and productive. I was really hurt on her behalf when she recounted her daughter saying to her, “Mom? Was there a certain conscious point in your life when you decided to settle for being ordinary?” Teenage daughters can certainly be heartbreakers to their mothers.
Much as Ira and Maggie bicker, you do sense their underlying love. This from Ira, “ And his wife! He loved her, but he couldn’t stand how she refused to take her own life seriously. She seemed to believe it was a sort of practice life, something she could afford to play around with as if they offered second and third chances to get it right. She was always making clumsy, impetuous rushes toward nowhere in particular- side trips, random detours.” But, he was always there for her- I loved that!
This book is a book that looks at this one couple’s marriage and bares it to us- it was an incredible portrayal of the mundane, the foibles but also the BOND. A lot of it rang true to this reader. I loved getting to know Maggie and Ira!
Published: 1988
February 1, 2021
Breathing Lessons is a dramatic comedy about the uber-busybody Maggie, her longsuffering, solitaire-obsessed husband Ira and Maggie's crusade to get her daughter-in-law to make up with her deadbeat son. The book is all written in the third person, but with Maggie's perspective for Parts I and III and Ira's perspective for Part II. The action of the novel takes place over a single day in which Ira and Maggie are driving from their home in Baltimore to a funeral in Pennsylvania and waylaid by various happenstances during the day. We learn the backstories in long asides as Maggie's and Ira's minds wander throughout the day.
Maggie is notorious for getting into other people's businesses and interfering in her kid's lives - especially in the case of her son Jesse. Before leaving on the roadtrip, she wrecks the fender of her car as she is pulling out of the bodyshop (having repaired all the previous dents and scratches presumably) and just drives off without care. Ira then wisely takes over and drives them towards the funeral. Maggie reminisces about her wedding night: "She had unbottoned her top button and then her next-to-bottom button, just enough to let the negligee slip from her shoulders and hesitate and fall around her ankles. He had looked directly into her eyes, and it seemed he wasn't even breathing. She had assumed that would go on forever. (p. 37). This we have one of the first references to breathing which here represents how Ira, who is introverted, must erase himself (stop breathing) in order to enter Maggie's space. We also notice that he is oblivious to her stripping, only looking into her eyes. We also see Maggie's undying naivete and dreaminess in how she convinces herself that this state will last forever.
The funeral is for Max, the late husband of Maggie's best friend Serena. Serena's widowhood has made her introspective and we get a bit of a mashup of the Bal de Masques of Proust and Once in a Lifetime by The Talking Heads as she talks intimately in a hallway with Maggie: "Would would it be like, I wonder." Serena said. "Just to look around you one day and have it all amaze you-where you arrived at, who you'd married, what kind of person you'd grown into. Say you suddenly came to while you are-oh, say, out shopping with your daughter-but it was your seven- or eight-year old self observing all you did. 'Why?' you'd say. 'Can this be me? Driving a car? Taking charge?'" (p. 53). This kind of aside is what makes the novel pleasant and reminds me a bit of Richard Ford's writing in the voice of Frank Bascombe.
After the funeral, they gather at Serena's house who, still in a nostalgic mood, shows a homemovie of her wedding (making everyone quite uncomfortable). Maggie takes it in:"She glanced around and saw a semicircle of graying men and women, and there was something so worn down about them, so benign and unassuming, that she felt at that moment they were as close as family. She wondered how she could have failed to realize that they would have been aging along with her all these years, going through more or less the same stages - rearing their children and saying goodbye to them, marveling at the wrinkles they discovered in the mirror, watching their parents turn fragile and uncertain. Somehow, she had pictured them all fretting over Prom Night." (p. 87) I found it interesting that so many of the books written by folks in their 40s and 50s look so nostalgically back on high school and realize that I do as well. I wonder what period people looked back to in, say, the 19c century before high schools existed. Or perhaps they never were afforded the gift of hindsight.
Yet another minor disaster occurs around Maggie and Ira who are obliged to leave the wake and head back to Baltimore. Maggie has a moment as they walk back to the car: Now they walked slightly apart, not touching. They were back to their normal selves. Or almost back. Not entirely. Some trick of light or heat blurred Maggie's vision, and the stony old house they were passing seemed to shimmer for a moment. It dissolved into a gentle, radiant blaze, and then it regrouped itself and grew solid again. (p. 121)
In the second part of the book, we have a single long chapter from Ira's perspective as he drives back towards Baltimore and has yet another absurd adventure on the road. His chapter is also funny, if less poetic than those of Maggie. He is not a dreamer: "Ira wished [Maggie] wouldn't keep telling him her dreams. It made him feel fidgety and restless." (p. 130) To avoid this feeling of restlessness, Ira always has a few decks of cards standing by and seems to be able to play solitaire on nearly any flat surface he encounters.
As we go into the final section of the book, Maggie tries to get her son's ex, Fiona, to come back and give her son, Jesse, another try bringing her granddaughter Leroy along with her. This whole section could have also been written by John Updike as it become a very Rabbit-like rocambolesque comedy. As bungling as she is, Maggie is quite observant: "[Fiona] wore rings on every one of her fingers, Maggie saw - some plain silver, some set with turquoise stones. That was new. But her nails were still painted the pearly pink that had always seemed her special color, that could bring her instantly to mind whenever Maggie caught sight of it somewhere." (p. 201)
I'll let you enjoy the splendid mess that Maggie makes of the entire situation. "Sifting through these layers of belongings while Ira stood mute behind her, Maggie had a sudden view of her life as circular. It forever repeated itself, and it was entirely lacking in hope." (p. 315) However, the next day there is the trip to take her daughter Daisy to university and her optimism returns as she falls to sleep: "She felt a little stir of something that came over her like a flush, a sort of inner buoyancy, and she lifted her face to kiss the warm blade of his cheekbone. Then she slipped free and moved to her side of the bed, because tomorrow they had a long car trip and she knew she would need a good night's sleep before they started." (p. 327) Thus, the circle was closed.
Overall, it was a beautiful story, well-told with humor and some touching moments. I have not read Where I'm Calling From: New and Selected Stories so I cannot say whether it was the better choice for the Pulitzer or not. I am on the fence as to whether I'll read Tyler's other highly acclaimed book The Accidental Tourist. I felt that Anne Proulx was funnier and that Carol Shields weaved together a better family drama, if I think about other women writing similar kinds of books. Nevertheless, this was a nice read.
My rating of all the Pulitzer Winners: https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/1...
Maggie is notorious for getting into other people's businesses and interfering in her kid's lives - especially in the case of her son Jesse. Before leaving on the roadtrip, she wrecks the fender of her car as she is pulling out of the bodyshop (having repaired all the previous dents and scratches presumably) and just drives off without care. Ira then wisely takes over and drives them towards the funeral. Maggie reminisces about her wedding night: "She had unbottoned her top button and then her next-to-bottom button, just enough to let the negligee slip from her shoulders and hesitate and fall around her ankles. He had looked directly into her eyes, and it seemed he wasn't even breathing. She had assumed that would go on forever. (p. 37). This we have one of the first references to breathing which here represents how Ira, who is introverted, must erase himself (stop breathing) in order to enter Maggie's space. We also notice that he is oblivious to her stripping, only looking into her eyes. We also see Maggie's undying naivete and dreaminess in how she convinces herself that this state will last forever.
The funeral is for Max, the late husband of Maggie's best friend Serena. Serena's widowhood has made her introspective and we get a bit of a mashup of the Bal de Masques of Proust and Once in a Lifetime by The Talking Heads as she talks intimately in a hallway with Maggie: "Would would it be like, I wonder." Serena said. "Just to look around you one day and have it all amaze you-where you arrived at, who you'd married, what kind of person you'd grown into. Say you suddenly came to while you are-oh, say, out shopping with your daughter-but it was your seven- or eight-year old self observing all you did. 'Why?' you'd say. 'Can this be me? Driving a car? Taking charge?'" (p. 53). This kind of aside is what makes the novel pleasant and reminds me a bit of Richard Ford's writing in the voice of Frank Bascombe.
After the funeral, they gather at Serena's house who, still in a nostalgic mood, shows a homemovie of her wedding (making everyone quite uncomfortable). Maggie takes it in:"She glanced around and saw a semicircle of graying men and women, and there was something so worn down about them, so benign and unassuming, that she felt at that moment they were as close as family. She wondered how she could have failed to realize that they would have been aging along with her all these years, going through more or less the same stages - rearing their children and saying goodbye to them, marveling at the wrinkles they discovered in the mirror, watching their parents turn fragile and uncertain. Somehow, she had pictured them all fretting over Prom Night." (p. 87) I found it interesting that so many of the books written by folks in their 40s and 50s look so nostalgically back on high school and realize that I do as well. I wonder what period people looked back to in, say, the 19c century before high schools existed. Or perhaps they never were afforded the gift of hindsight.
Yet another minor disaster occurs around Maggie and Ira who are obliged to leave the wake and head back to Baltimore. Maggie has a moment as they walk back to the car: Now they walked slightly apart, not touching. They were back to their normal selves. Or almost back. Not entirely. Some trick of light or heat blurred Maggie's vision, and the stony old house they were passing seemed to shimmer for a moment. It dissolved into a gentle, radiant blaze, and then it regrouped itself and grew solid again. (p. 121)
In the second part of the book, we have a single long chapter from Ira's perspective as he drives back towards Baltimore and has yet another absurd adventure on the road. His chapter is also funny, if less poetic than those of Maggie. He is not a dreamer: "Ira wished [Maggie] wouldn't keep telling him her dreams. It made him feel fidgety and restless." (p. 130) To avoid this feeling of restlessness, Ira always has a few decks of cards standing by and seems to be able to play solitaire on nearly any flat surface he encounters.
As we go into the final section of the book, Maggie tries to get her son's ex, Fiona, to come back and give her son, Jesse, another try bringing her granddaughter Leroy along with her. This whole section could have also been written by John Updike as it become a very Rabbit-like rocambolesque comedy. As bungling as she is, Maggie is quite observant: "[Fiona] wore rings on every one of her fingers, Maggie saw - some plain silver, some set with turquoise stones. That was new. But her nails were still painted the pearly pink that had always seemed her special color, that could bring her instantly to mind whenever Maggie caught sight of it somewhere." (p. 201)
I'll let you enjoy the splendid mess that Maggie makes of the entire situation. "Sifting through these layers of belongings while Ira stood mute behind her, Maggie had a sudden view of her life as circular. It forever repeated itself, and it was entirely lacking in hope." (p. 315) However, the next day there is the trip to take her daughter Daisy to university and her optimism returns as she falls to sleep: "She felt a little stir of something that came over her like a flush, a sort of inner buoyancy, and she lifted her face to kiss the warm blade of his cheekbone. Then she slipped free and moved to her side of the bed, because tomorrow they had a long car trip and she knew she would need a good night's sleep before they started." (p. 327) Thus, the circle was closed.
Overall, it was a beautiful story, well-told with humor and some touching moments. I have not read Where I'm Calling From: New and Selected Stories so I cannot say whether it was the better choice for the Pulitzer or not. I am on the fence as to whether I'll read Tyler's other highly acclaimed book The Accidental Tourist. I felt that Anne Proulx was funnier and that Carol Shields weaved together a better family drama, if I think about other women writing similar kinds of books. Nevertheless, this was a nice read.
My rating of all the Pulitzer Winners: https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/1...
October 2, 2008
Did they really give her the Pulitzer for this thing?! How utterly appalling! This may qualify as the stupidest book I have ever read. I did not like even one of the characters. Not one! They were annoying and weak and petty.
I really wanted to hurl Maggie from the highest bridge just to get her to SHUT UP!
Dumb dumb dumb dumb story. Shouldn't have bothered to finish it, but I did. So...more fool me.
I really wanted to hurl Maggie from the highest bridge just to get her to SHUT UP!
Dumb dumb dumb dumb story. Shouldn't have bothered to finish it, but I did. So...more fool me.
August 13, 2022
I am a huge Anne Tyler fan and this book was published in 1988, so I would have read it sometime around that time period. I would have been 35 years old and newly married with a 2 year old. I did not like it much then and was mystified when it won the Pulitzer. So when I saw it for $3 at a library sale in May, I decided to give it another try. After all, I've been married for 36 years at this point, so surely my maturity and experience would allow me some insight that I had missed the first time.
Wrong, wrong, wrong. It wasn't the book at all, it wasn't even me. It was the main character of Maggie Moran I didn't like. A meddling do-gooder who always thought she knew what was best, and when things turned out badly, never took responsibility for the mess she'd made. Even her clumsiness and atrocious driving skills were always someone else's fault. At this point in my life, I've known a few people just like her and do my best to distance myself from them, yet here I was, spending 320 pages with this clueless woman who had no idea how she was perceived. I felt such pity for her long suffering husband who did his best to mitigate the harm she did.
This is my least favorite of Tyler's books, and I've read them all. Spare me the people who excuse everything with "I meant well".
Wrong, wrong, wrong. It wasn't the book at all, it wasn't even me. It was the main character of Maggie Moran I didn't like. A meddling do-gooder who always thought she knew what was best, and when things turned out badly, never took responsibility for the mess she'd made. Even her clumsiness and atrocious driving skills were always someone else's fault. At this point in my life, I've known a few people just like her and do my best to distance myself from them, yet here I was, spending 320 pages with this clueless woman who had no idea how she was perceived. I felt such pity for her long suffering husband who did his best to mitigate the harm she did.
This is my least favorite of Tyler's books, and I've read them all. Spare me the people who excuse everything with "I meant well".
August 9, 2018
This is the second novel by Anne Tyler that I read and I'm happy to say I enjoyed it much more than The Vinegar Girl.
Some quick thoughts:
- the main characters, Ira and Maggie Moran, were very relatable and recognisable. Maggie is a busybody, helpful, chatty, well-meaning, a bit scattered at times. She's constantly fretting over her kids and the grandchild she doesn't get to see anymore. She wants to help and fix people's relationships. Ira is the "level-headed" one, a bit taciturn, serious, almost permanently annoyed with his wife's chattering, interference, and small manipulations (and he's not even aware of half of them). That old adage "familiarity breeds contempt" is plenty apparent.
- the Morans squabble and get annoyed with each other; they misunderstand each other, jump to conclusions, see things differently.
- the main themes of marriage, raising children, expectations/dreams vs reality are very well done.
- there's humour, there's mundanity, but most importantly, the characterizations are excellent.
- as much as I like to think that I'm unique and cool and all that (I AM! ;-)), in a way, we are all cliches and have stereotypical attitudes, behaviours, (pre)determined by our genetic makeup, gender and societal norms and roles.
Some quick thoughts:
- the main characters, Ira and Maggie Moran, were very relatable and recognisable. Maggie is a busybody, helpful, chatty, well-meaning, a bit scattered at times. She's constantly fretting over her kids and the grandchild she doesn't get to see anymore. She wants to help and fix people's relationships. Ira is the "level-headed" one, a bit taciturn, serious, almost permanently annoyed with his wife's chattering, interference, and small manipulations (and he's not even aware of half of them). That old adage "familiarity breeds contempt" is plenty apparent.
- the Morans squabble and get annoyed with each other; they misunderstand each other, jump to conclusions, see things differently.
- the main themes of marriage, raising children, expectations/dreams vs reality are very well done.
- there's humour, there's mundanity, but most importantly, the characterizations are excellent.
- as much as I like to think that I'm unique and cool and all that (I AM! ;-)), in a way, we are all cliches and have stereotypical attitudes, behaviours, (pre)determined by our genetic makeup, gender and societal norms and roles.
March 29, 2012
Breathing Lessons is about a couple, Maggie and Ira, who has been married for 28 years. Their son, Jesse, a father of a toddler, is facing a divorce. Their teenage daughter, Daisy is about to enter college so their house is now an empty nest.
Life is a journey and, for a spouse like me, marriage is that part of the journey where you are somebody paddling the boat with you. My daughter is also heading to college a couple of months from now. Although she will be still be staying with us, I know that time will come that she has to be all by herself so she’ll learn to stand on her own feet. Seeing her all grown up receiving her high-school diploma just the other day made me reflect how time really flew. She used to be a 6-y/o toddler tightly holding my hand on her first day at that school eleven years ago. This morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and wondered where that young father has gone.
You can say that this theme is nothing new. However, Anne Tyler writes like no other. She can make everything interesting to prod you to keep on turning the pages until you’re done.
Why?
(1) The whole marriage of Maggie and Ira is encapsulated in one day. From the time they leave Baltimore to the funeral of Serena’s (Maggie’s best friend) husband to their way back to home. On the way back, they meet all sorts of people that can make you reflect on how your own marriage is currently going. For me, this made me realize how communication is important. I know how is this as a big factor in any relationship but it is not always about listening full ears or talking about how I feel to my wife but also when to keep quiet and ignore the unnecessary. Come to think of it, there is really no sure-fire hit about communication in a relationship, right? It all boils down, I think, to how much understanding we are in tolerating each other’s shortcomings.
(2) I’ve read and liked her two other non-Pulitzer winners prior to this book. In fact, I read all these three books in succession. I first started with The Accidental Tourist because it is both a 501 and a 1001 book. Unbelievably brilliant: Macon Leary stayed in my mind for few days and even up to now I still remember him in his cast. Then I followed it right away with Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant because my Goodreads friend said that it is her favorite among Tyler’s works. That’s true! The blind Pearl Tull stayed as a prominent image in my brain for some days after. It made me appreciate my mother more that I called her up a day after I’ve finished reading the book. Both books engaged me from page 1 and made me continue reading the book almost without letup.
Breathing Lessons is structured differently. The start is not engaging because it is just about a radio program announcing that Maggie’s daughter-in-law Fiona is getting married again then Maggie hits a truck on her way out from the service shop. But the climax builds gradually like that of the movie Thelma and Louise as in turns into something like a travelogue and like the Little Prince meeting all sorts of people on the road. It is just different from the first two books and I admire Anne Tyler more because she does not stick to one structure or one formula. There are those recurring characters or events like the incorporation of songs or that minor character who sleep walk that reminded me of Ezra Tull in Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant. But aside from those, everything is new and if you cover Anne Tyler’s name on front of the book, Breathing Lessons could have been written by any other brilliant female American author.
So why Breathing Lessons? There are instances when Tyler made references to breathing but no direct answer. I think that it is for those who leave relationship for the reason that they could not breath. Ira Mason, the husband, feels that he should have married Anne Landers but he chose to marry and stick with Maggie. For 28 years, he could have felt that it was a mistake but he stayed. He thought, I know he must have thought, of leaving but he stayed. Why? Anne Tyler knows and they are the lessons that she will make you reflect on while reading this book.
Life is a journey and, for a spouse like me, marriage is that part of the journey where you are somebody paddling the boat with you. My daughter is also heading to college a couple of months from now. Although she will be still be staying with us, I know that time will come that she has to be all by herself so she’ll learn to stand on her own feet. Seeing her all grown up receiving her high-school diploma just the other day made me reflect how time really flew. She used to be a 6-y/o toddler tightly holding my hand on her first day at that school eleven years ago. This morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and wondered where that young father has gone.
You can say that this theme is nothing new. However, Anne Tyler writes like no other. She can make everything interesting to prod you to keep on turning the pages until you’re done.
Why?
(1) The whole marriage of Maggie and Ira is encapsulated in one day. From the time they leave Baltimore to the funeral of Serena’s (Maggie’s best friend) husband to their way back to home. On the way back, they meet all sorts of people that can make you reflect on how your own marriage is currently going. For me, this made me realize how communication is important. I know how is this as a big factor in any relationship but it is not always about listening full ears or talking about how I feel to my wife but also when to keep quiet and ignore the unnecessary. Come to think of it, there is really no sure-fire hit about communication in a relationship, right? It all boils down, I think, to how much understanding we are in tolerating each other’s shortcomings.
(2) I’ve read and liked her two other non-Pulitzer winners prior to this book. In fact, I read all these three books in succession. I first started with The Accidental Tourist because it is both a 501 and a 1001 book. Unbelievably brilliant: Macon Leary stayed in my mind for few days and even up to now I still remember him in his cast. Then I followed it right away with Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant because my Goodreads friend said that it is her favorite among Tyler’s works. That’s true! The blind Pearl Tull stayed as a prominent image in my brain for some days after. It made me appreciate my mother more that I called her up a day after I’ve finished reading the book. Both books engaged me from page 1 and made me continue reading the book almost without letup.
Breathing Lessons is structured differently. The start is not engaging because it is just about a radio program announcing that Maggie’s daughter-in-law Fiona is getting married again then Maggie hits a truck on her way out from the service shop. But the climax builds gradually like that of the movie Thelma and Louise as in turns into something like a travelogue and like the Little Prince meeting all sorts of people on the road. It is just different from the first two books and I admire Anne Tyler more because she does not stick to one structure or one formula. There are those recurring characters or events like the incorporation of songs or that minor character who sleep walk that reminded me of Ezra Tull in Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant. But aside from those, everything is new and if you cover Anne Tyler’s name on front of the book, Breathing Lessons could have been written by any other brilliant female American author.
So why Breathing Lessons? There are instances when Tyler made references to breathing but no direct answer. I think that it is for those who leave relationship for the reason that they could not breath. Ira Mason, the husband, feels that he should have married Anne Landers but he chose to marry and stick with Maggie. For 28 years, he could have felt that it was a mistake but he stayed. He thought, I know he must have thought, of leaving but he stayed. Why? Anne Tyler knows and they are the lessons that she will make you reflect on while reading this book.
November 1, 2023
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معمولی، حتا خیلی معمولی، حوصله سربر، کلافه کننده، چالشناک از لوس و مسخره تا حیثیتی، دست و پا چلفتی، گیج و گوج، دغدغه کاهش 5 کیلو اضافه وزن از کی تا حالا، عوضی گرفتن پدال گاز بجای ترمز، احساس مسئولیت بی جا و بی مورد، زندگی رو به شخم هم حتا نگرفتن طوری که انگار همه این عمر 50-60 ساله یه مقدمه س برای یه زندگی خیلی خیلی طولانی اونم توی همین دنیا، خنگ بازی موقع ضبط صدا روی منشی تلفنی و یه چیز چرت و پرت ضبط کردن و ریدن به اعتبار چندین ساله، دلسوزی زیاده از حد برای کسایی که دوسشون داری، تضادهای آشکار 180 درجه ای با کسی که عاشقشی، سفره دل برای یه غریبه باز کردن و از قضاوت شدن نترسیدن، قهر و آشتی های بهاری(حالا هست یه دیقه بعد نیست)، همیشه همه چی تقصیر توعه، کلی انرژی و ورجه وورجه داشتن(بهت میگن چرا همیشه مستی؟ چقدر انرژی داری؟ اینهمه انرژی رو از کجا میاری؟) و .... و چی؟
خودِ زندگی
فقط تا دو سوم کتاب همه چی خیلی یواش و آروم و کُند و با حوصله و صبورانه پیش میره. درست مثل شخصیتهای این قسمت. زن و شوهر میانسالِ خیلی خیلی خیلی معمولی. با مسائل و داستانهای از اون هم معمولی تر. اما تو بازم دوست داری دنبالشون کنی. میدونی چرا؟
برای من اینطوری بود که همش به یاد مادر پدر خودم می افتادم. و یه جاهایی از خنده می ترکیدم. می گفتم ایران و امریکا فرقی نداره انگار، بالتیمور و اصفهانم خیلی تو اصل داستان اثری نداره. انگاری که همه زوج های میانسال و رو به مسن شدن، اونایی که حداقل 30 ساله بیخ ریش هم بسته شدن، عمیقن شبیه همن. همه جای این کره خاکی شاید
یه وقتایی می بینی آنچنان باهم دعوا می کنن و بحثهای منتهی به قهر دارن، که میگی این دیگه آخرشه! حتمنِ حتمن حالا فردا نه ولی پس فردا میرن برای طلاق! داری فکر میکنی که بالاخره منم بچه طلاق میشم! حالا با کدومشون برم زندگی کنم بهتره؟! یهو کمتر از نیم ساعت بعد می بینی که نشستن یه گوشه و آروم دارن چایی دارچینی می خورن و در مورد فلان دوستِ فلان فامیلشون تبادل اطلاعات می کنن
👵☕🧓
وقتی به یک سوم آخر کتاب میرسی، سرعت کتاب یه دفه شتاب میگیره! چرا؟ چون پای جوونها و بچه های پر شر و شور و پر دردسر و پرانرژی و با هیجان و تحرک و چالش و بدو-برو-بیا-ببر به داستان باز میشه. این قسمت هاش شبیه خیلی از سریال ها و فیلمهای آمریکایی اون دوره هست. مثلن خیلی از صحنه های
“Young Sheldon”
برای من تداعی میشد
یه قسمت از کتابو با هم بخونیم. ص 370- صحنه خرید از سوپرمارکت خوش قیمتها(توضیحای توی پرانتزو من نوشتم)
مگی(مادر میانسال خانواده) دست کرد و از کیفش برگ تخفیف را در آورد و داد به پسر و گفت: بیا این برای شماست.
پسر(خوشگل موشگل و خفن) برگه را گرفت و زیرورو کرد، با دقت خواند، البته لبهایش تکان نخورد. برگه را پس داد و گفت: خب، خیلی ممنون. و بعد گفت: میشه 16 دلار و 43 سنت. مگی گیج شده ��ود. ولی پول را شمرد و کیسه ها را برداشت.
از صندوق که رد شدند مگی از فیونا(عروس جوان خانواده) پرسید: خوش قیمتها برگ تخفیف قبول نمی کنه یا چی؟
فیونا: نمیدونم واقعن
مگی: شاید تاریخش گذشته
کیسه های خرید را به یک دستش داد تا تاریخ برگه را نگاه کند. ولی تمام برگه پوشیده شده بود از خط داروود کلگ ( یکی از دوستای دبیرستان مگی که توی یه مراسم ختم دیده بودش - همون اول داستان باهاش آشنا میشیم) که با خودکار آبی پررنگ نوشته بود: بغلم کن. سفت بغلم کن. بذار از خوشی بلرزم.... صورت مگی داغ شد. گفت: وای از اینهمه بلا! این دیگه چه بی آبرویی بود
و از این طور صحنه ها همه جای کتاب هست. وقتی تو فاز خوندن ��اشی، شروع می کنی با صدای بلند خندیدن. اگه تو خونه باشی قطعن میان بهت سر بزنن ببینن دیوونه شدی یا با کسی هستی یا چی؟
کمتر کتابی بوده که اینطور جدی باشه و اینطور منو به خنده بندازه. از خوندنش واقعن خوشحالم. با اینکه خیلی طول کشید
توی این کتاب هیچی الکی نیومده! هیچی! حتا اون برگه تخفیفی که الان دست مگیه و باعث آبرو ریزیش شد، سرنوشت جالبی داره
اسم اصلی کتاب
Breathing lessons
هست. انتخاب اسم هم به نظر من خیلی جالبه. در اولین نگاه از بارداری فیونا و تمرین های مربوط به زایمان گرفته شده. یکی از تمرین ها، نفس کشیدن هست که توی کتاب، جاهای مختلف تو دوران بارداری بهش اشاره میشه. اما چیز دیگه ای که به نظر من میتونه باشه اینه: تمرین نفس کشیدن قبل از هر اقدامی. قبل از اینکه شتابان هر فکری به ذهنمون میرسه سریع عملی کنیم، اول نفس عمیق بکشیم. یکم درنگ کنیم. بعد اقدام کنیم. شاید تو همین فاصله ای که داریم نفس می کشیم اکسیژنی که به مغزمون میرسه باعث بشه دقیق تر و روشن تر ببینیم و فکر کنیم. در نتیجه عاقلانه تر هم اقدام می کنیم. چیزی که مگی(مادر خانواده) هیچوقت رعایت نمیکرد. توی هر شرایط دشواری که پیش می اومد، اولین ایده ای که به ذهنش می رسید، همونو می چسبید و سریع عملی می کرد و بعدم پشیمونی به بار می اومد. خودش همیشه به خودش حق میداد منتها بقیه همیشه ازش طلبکار بودن و اکثرن کاسه کوزه ها سر اون شکسته میشد. تمرین نفس کشیدن ایده خوبی می تونه باشه
ترجمه جناب امین حسینیون هم خیلی حرفه ای و دقیق بود. توضیحات مختلف در مورد سبک های موسیقی 60-70 آمریکا به کارم اومد. در مورد سانسور نظر خاصی ندارم. چیزی پیش نیومد که به مشکل بخورم یا متوجه نشم
دو تا نکته طلایی در مورد این کتاب هست که دوست دارم ثبت کنم
اول همون که توی آپدیت قبلی کتاب گفتم. همسرِ بانو آن تایلر (نویسنده کتاب)، تقی مدرسی هست (یعنی بوده، چون جناب مدرسی فوت شده) که ایشون هم یه نویسنده ایرانی ساکن امریکا بوده. ممکنه حتا حس و حال آشنای شخصیت ها سر سوزنی به دلیل زندگی نویسنده با یک ایرانی رقم خورده باشه. بابای خانواده که خیلی باحال بود. زنده و واقعی. اگه بخوایم با ورژن ایرانی بازسازیش کنیم از اینایی میشه که همش دستش رو کلید کولره
نکته دوم که خودمم باورم نمیشه قیمت عجیب غریب کتاب بود. 😆😁. یه کتاب 400 صفحه ای ترجمه ای الانا چقدره؟ 🕵️♀️نمیخواد جواب بدین. هممون می دونیم. من این کتابو 57 تومن خریدم (با تخفیف. قیمت پشت جلد 58500 تومن). واییی خدایا. باورم نمیشه. چاپ اول سال 98. نمیدونم توی تجدید چاپ قیمت جدیدش چنده! اما برای من خیلی لذت بخش بود و چون قیمت خط نخورده و با برچسب، قیمتای نجومی نزده بودن، احتمال میدم دیگه تجدید چاپ نشده
صوتیش انگار هنوز کار نشده. ولی صوتی این کتاب واقعن جواب میده. چون به تمرکز و فکر خاصی نیاز نداره. از طرفی قسمتهای طولانی و حوصله سر بر با یه راوی حرفه ای، دلنشین و جذاب میشه و میشه وسط کار و بار زندگی گاهی شنید.
بعد از مدتها یه کتاب دلنشین بدون خود آزاری خوندم
🌟📚🌟
معمولی، حتا خیلی معمولی، حوصله سربر، کلافه کننده، چالشناک از لوس و مسخره تا حیثیتی، دست و پا چلفتی، گیج و گوج، دغدغه کاهش 5 کیلو اضافه وزن از کی تا حالا، عوضی گرفتن پدال گاز بجای ترمز، احساس مسئولیت بی جا و بی مورد، زندگی رو به شخم هم حتا نگرفتن طوری که انگار همه این عمر 50-60 ساله یه مقدمه س برای یه زندگی خیلی خیلی طولانی اونم توی همین دنیا، خنگ بازی موقع ضبط صدا روی منشی تلفنی و یه چیز چرت و پرت ضبط کردن و ریدن به اعتبار چندین ساله، دلسوزی زیاده از حد برای کسایی که دوسشون داری، تضادهای آشکار 180 درجه ای با کسی که عاشقشی، سفره دل برای یه غریبه باز کردن و از قضاوت شدن نترسیدن، قهر و آشتی های بهاری(حالا هست یه دیقه بعد نیست)، همیشه همه چی تقصیر توعه، کلی انرژی و ورجه وورجه داشتن(بهت میگن چرا همیشه مستی؟ چقدر انرژی داری؟ اینهمه انرژی رو از کجا میاری؟) و .... و چی؟
خودِ زندگی
فقط تا دو سوم کتاب همه چی خیلی یواش و آروم و کُند و با حوصله و صبورانه پیش میره. درست مثل شخصیتهای این قسمت. زن و شوهر میانسالِ خیلی خیلی خیلی معمولی. با مسائل و داستانهای از اون هم معمولی تر. اما تو بازم دوست داری دنبالشون کنی. میدونی چرا؟
برای من اینطوری بود که همش به یاد مادر پدر خودم می افتادم. و یه جاهایی از خنده می ترکیدم. می گفتم ایران و امریکا فرقی نداره انگار، بالتیمور و اصفهانم خیلی تو اصل داستان اثری نداره. انگاری که همه زوج های میانسال و رو به مسن شدن، اونایی که حداقل 30 ساله بیخ ریش هم بسته شدن، عمیقن شبیه همن. همه جای این کره خاکی شاید
یه وقتایی می بینی آنچنان باهم دعوا می کنن و بحثهای منتهی به قهر دارن، که میگی این دیگه آخرشه! حتمنِ حتمن حالا فردا نه ولی پس فردا میرن برای طلاق! داری فکر میکنی که بالاخره منم بچه طلاق میشم! حالا با کدومشون برم زندگی کنم بهتره؟! یهو کمتر از نیم ساعت بعد می بینی که نشستن یه گوشه و آروم دارن چایی دارچینی می خورن و در مورد فلان دوستِ فلان فامیلشون تبادل اطلاعات می کنن
👵☕🧓
وقتی به یک سوم آخر کتاب میرسی، سرعت کتاب یه دفه شتاب میگیره! چرا؟ چون پای جوونها و بچه های پر شر و شور و پر دردسر و پرانرژی و با هیجان و تحرک و چالش و بدو-برو-بیا-ببر به داستان باز میشه. این قسمت هاش شبیه خیلی از سریال ها و فیلمهای آمریکایی اون دوره هست. مثلن خیلی از صحنه های
“Young Sheldon”
برای من تداعی میشد
یه قسمت از کتابو با هم بخونیم. ص 370- صحنه خرید از سوپرمارکت خوش قیمتها(توضیحای توی پرانتزو من نوشتم)
مگی(مادر میانسال خانواده) دست کرد و از کیفش برگ تخفیف را در آورد و داد به پسر و گفت: بیا این برای شماست.
پسر(خوشگل موشگل و خفن) برگه را گرفت و زیرورو کرد، با دقت خواند، البته لبهایش تکان نخورد. برگه را پس داد و گفت: خب، خیلی ممنون. و بعد گفت: میشه 16 دلار و 43 سنت. مگی گیج شده ��ود. ولی پول را شمرد و کیسه ها را برداشت.
از صندوق که رد شدند مگی از فیونا(عروس جوان خانواده) پرسید: خوش قیمتها برگ تخفیف قبول نمی کنه یا چی؟
فیونا: نمیدونم واقعن
مگی: شاید تاریخش گذشته
کیسه های خرید را به یک دستش داد تا تاریخ برگه را نگاه کند. ولی تمام برگه پوشیده شده بود از خط داروود کلگ ( یکی از دوستای دبیرستان مگی که توی یه مراسم ختم دیده بودش - همون اول داستان باهاش آشنا میشیم) که با خودکار آبی پررنگ نوشته بود: بغلم کن. سفت بغلم کن. بذار از خوشی بلرزم.... صورت مگی داغ شد. گفت: وای از اینهمه بلا! این دیگه چه بی آبرویی بود
و از این طور صحنه ها همه جای کتاب هست. وقتی تو فاز خوندن ��اشی، شروع می کنی با صدای بلند خندیدن. اگه تو خونه باشی قطعن میان بهت سر بزنن ببینن دیوونه شدی یا با کسی هستی یا چی؟
کمتر کتابی بوده که اینطور جدی باشه و اینطور منو به خنده بندازه. از خوندنش واقعن خوشحالم. با اینکه خیلی طول کشید
توی این کتاب هیچی الکی نیومده! هیچی! حتا اون برگه تخفیفی که الان دست مگیه و باعث آبرو ریزیش شد، سرنوشت جالبی داره
اسم اصلی کتاب
Breathing lessons
هست. انتخاب اسم هم به نظر من خیلی جالبه. در اولین نگاه از بارداری فیونا و تمرین های مربوط به زایمان گرفته شده. یکی از تمرین ها، نفس کشیدن هست که توی کتاب، جاهای مختلف تو دوران بارداری بهش اشاره میشه. اما چیز دیگه ای که به نظر من میتونه باشه اینه: تمرین نفس کشیدن قبل از هر اقدامی. قبل از اینکه شتابان هر فکری به ذهنمون میرسه سریع عملی کنیم، اول نفس عمیق بکشیم. یکم درنگ کنیم. بعد اقدام کنیم. شاید تو همین فاصله ای که داریم نفس می کشیم اکسیژنی که به مغزمون میرسه باعث بشه دقیق تر و روشن تر ببینیم و فکر کنیم. در نتیجه عاقلانه تر هم اقدام می کنیم. چیزی که مگی(مادر خانواده) هیچوقت رعایت نمیکرد. توی هر شرایط دشواری که پیش می اومد، اولین ایده ای که به ذهنش می رسید، همونو می چسبید و سریع عملی می کرد و بعدم پشیمونی به بار می اومد. خودش همیشه به خودش حق میداد منتها بقیه همیشه ازش طلبکار بودن و اکثرن کاسه کوزه ها سر اون شکسته میشد. تمرین نفس کشیدن ایده خوبی می تونه باشه
ترجمه جناب امین حسینیون هم خیلی حرفه ای و دقیق بود. توضیحات مختلف در مورد سبک های موسیقی 60-70 آمریکا به کارم اومد. در مورد سانسور نظر خاصی ندارم. چیزی پیش نیومد که به مشکل بخورم یا متوجه نشم
دو تا نکته طلایی در مورد این کتاب هست که دوست دارم ثبت کنم
اول همون که توی آپدیت قبلی کتاب گفتم. همسرِ بانو آن تایلر (نویسنده کتاب)، تقی مدرسی هست (یعنی بوده، چون جناب مدرسی فوت شده) که ایشون هم یه نویسنده ایرانی ساکن امریکا بوده. ممکنه حتا حس و حال آشنای شخصیت ها سر سوزنی به دلیل زندگی نویسنده با یک ایرانی رقم خورده باشه. بابای خانواده که خیلی باحال بود. زنده و واقعی. اگه بخوایم با ورژن ایرانی بازسازیش کنیم از اینایی میشه که همش دستش رو کلید کولره
نکته دوم که خودمم باورم نمیشه قیمت عجیب غریب کتاب بود. 😆😁. یه کتاب 400 صفحه ای ترجمه ای الانا چقدره؟ 🕵️♀️نمیخواد جواب بدین. هممون می دونیم. من این کتابو 57 تومن خریدم (با تخفیف. قیمت پشت جلد 58500 تومن). واییی خدایا. باورم نمیشه. چاپ اول سال 98. نمیدونم توی تجدید چاپ قیمت جدیدش چنده! اما برای من خیلی لذت بخش بود و چون قیمت خط نخورده و با برچسب، قیمتای نجومی نزده بودن، احتمال میدم دیگه تجدید چاپ نشده
صوتیش انگار هنوز کار نشده. ولی صوتی این کتاب واقعن جواب میده. چون به تمرکز و فکر خاصی نیاز نداره. از طرفی قسمتهای طولانی و حوصله سر بر با یه راوی حرفه ای، دلنشین و جذاب میشه و میشه وسط کار و بار زندگی گاهی شنید.
بعد از مدتها یه کتاب دلنشین بدون خود آزاری خوندم
🌟📚🌟
September 9, 2012
When reviewing books with others--whether in text-based or face to face discussions--I am always irritated when readers don't like a book because they "don't like" certain characters in the book. I want to remind them that a) these people are, umm, fictional and b) a diverse mix of characters drives a story, makes it interesting. The truly gifted author fashions characters with weaknesses and flaws as well as strengths and charming bits--the fun is in watching the interplay. When a reader doesn't like a protagonist because she's "too whiny," or can't find sympathetic traits or reasons why the bad guy acts as he does--or worse, proposes changes for a character's personality to make the story "better"-- I tend to disregard the reader, as someone who wants to read the same story, with the same stock characters, over and over.
And now--I'm going to be that person. Although I love Anne Tyler's work--thought "Accidental Tourist" was genius, and cried through "Coming to America"--the main character in this book was like fingernails on chalkboard, as I was reading Tyler's lovely, lucid writing. Maggie was the embodiment of all I dislike in women, real life or on the fictional page: completely self-deluded, sanctimonious, annoying, self-involved, wheedling, deceptive--all the while believing she was doing the right thing, talking sweetly. The thing is, I know women like Maggie--often women of an older generation, bewildered by the pace of societal change, fretful but unwilling to adapt, stuck in a set of values and loyalties that just don't work any more. Not bad people, but clueless.
And Maggie was the heart of the story, on stage every page. It was her meddling that drove all the action and flashbacks. As much as I liked the idea of the story--the single day, the connections between fatherless Serena and fatherless LeRoy, the aimless plotting-- it got to the point where I wanted Maggie to go away and not take up any more of my time. Tyler, as good as ever--5 stars. The experience of reading it? One star. You do the math.
And now--I'm going to be that person. Although I love Anne Tyler's work--thought "Accidental Tourist" was genius, and cried through "Coming to America"--the main character in this book was like fingernails on chalkboard, as I was reading Tyler's lovely, lucid writing. Maggie was the embodiment of all I dislike in women, real life or on the fictional page: completely self-deluded, sanctimonious, annoying, self-involved, wheedling, deceptive--all the while believing she was doing the right thing, talking sweetly. The thing is, I know women like Maggie--often women of an older generation, bewildered by the pace of societal change, fretful but unwilling to adapt, stuck in a set of values and loyalties that just don't work any more. Not bad people, but clueless.
And Maggie was the heart of the story, on stage every page. It was her meddling that drove all the action and flashbacks. As much as I liked the idea of the story--the single day, the connections between fatherless Serena and fatherless LeRoy, the aimless plotting-- it got to the point where I wanted Maggie to go away and not take up any more of my time. Tyler, as good as ever--5 stars. The experience of reading it? One star. You do the math.
May 26, 2021
Winner of the Pulitzer Prize 1989
Maggie and Ira Moran are a white middle-class couple from Baltimore who came of age in the 1950s. The story, set in the 1980s, takes place in a single day as the Morans take a 90-mile drive to Pennsylvania to attend the funeral of the husband of Maggie's closest childhood friend.
The narrative moves back and forth in time through Maggie and Ira's courtship and 28-year marriage. On the journey home, they stop to visit their estranged former daughter-in-law and granddaughter, who Maggie convinces to come back for a visit in the hope of reuniting them with her son.
While the plotline appears simple, Tyler's empathy for her characters and her compassion for the travails of everyday life make the book come alive. There are many humorous, poignant moments and the characters seem sadly real.
Maggie and Ira Moran are a white middle-class couple from Baltimore who came of age in the 1950s. The story, set in the 1980s, takes place in a single day as the Morans take a 90-mile drive to Pennsylvania to attend the funeral of the husband of Maggie's closest childhood friend.
The narrative moves back and forth in time through Maggie and Ira's courtship and 28-year marriage. On the journey home, they stop to visit their estranged former daughter-in-law and granddaughter, who Maggie convinces to come back for a visit in the hope of reuniting them with her son.
While the plotline appears simple, Tyler's empathy for her characters and her compassion for the travails of everyday life make the book come alive. There are many humorous, poignant moments and the characters seem sadly real.
April 24, 2020
اولش به نظرم کسلکننده اومد. چون تصویر یه زن و مرد میانسال داخل یه ماشین تو جاده، واسم کسلکننده است. یه قضیه شخصیه. ولی بعد که ادامه دادم به نظرم جذاب اومد. یه داستان کاملا رئال از زندگی یه خونواده، با تمرکز روی زوجها و روابطشون.
میگن جهان معاصر، جهان غیرمعمولیاست. کسی به آدمای معمولی کاری نداره. مثلا یا باید مانکن سایز صفر باشی که عکست بیفته رو جلد مجله مد، یا باید اونقدر چاق باشی که به اسم احترام به سلایق متفاوت و با ژست «ما خیلی بشردوستیم» بازم عکست بره رو جلد! شنیدم جدیدا از آدمایی با یه پا، آدمایی روی ویلچر هم به عنوان مانکن استفاده کردن، آره؟ خلاصه کسی به ما آدمای معمولی طبقه متوسطی با هیکلای معمولی، با وسواسای فکری پیشپاافتاده، با اخلاقای رو اعصاب، کاری نداره. البته نه اونقدری رو اعصاب که غیرمعمولی باشه. ولی «نفس عمیق»، داستان همین آدمای معمولیه، آدمای معمولی درگیر توی زندگی شخصی که تو اوج بحران و فراز و فرودای زندگی هم هیچی بجز همینایی که هممون میدونیم، تو زندگیشون اتفاق نمیفته، زندگیه دیگه! داستان افکارشون، درد و رنجا و عادتای تکراریشون و خلاصه از همین چیزای شخصی.
شاید خودتونو یا بخشی از خودتونو هم اون وسطا پیدا کردین و بعد با خودتون فکر کنین که این اون زندگیای نیست که من بخوام.
میگن جهان معاصر، جهان غیرمعمولیاست. کسی به آدمای معمولی کاری نداره. مثلا یا باید مانکن سایز صفر باشی که عکست بیفته رو جلد مجله مد، یا باید اونقدر چاق باشی که به اسم احترام به سلایق متفاوت و با ژست «ما خیلی بشردوستیم» بازم عکست بره رو جلد! شنیدم جدیدا از آدمایی با یه پا، آدمایی روی ویلچر هم به عنوان مانکن استفاده کردن، آره؟ خلاصه کسی به ما آدمای معمولی طبقه متوسطی با هیکلای معمولی، با وسواسای فکری پیشپاافتاده، با اخلاقای رو اعصاب، کاری نداره. البته نه اونقدری رو اعصاب که غیرمعمولی باشه. ولی «نفس عمیق»، داستان همین آدمای معمولیه، آدمای معمولی درگیر توی زندگی شخصی که تو اوج بحران و فراز و فرودای زندگی هم هیچی بجز همینایی که هممون میدونیم، تو زندگیشون اتفاق نمیفته، زندگیه دیگه! داستان افکارشون، درد و رنجا و عادتای تکراریشون و خلاصه از همین چیزای شخصی.
شاید خودتونو یا بخشی از خودتونو هم اون وسطا پیدا کردین و بعد با خودتون فکر کنین که این اون زندگیای نیست که من بخوام.
January 23, 2023
It's been decades since I read Breathing Lessons back in the 80's. However, I do remember I loved it and was very touched by the authentic, relatable emotions of everyday people coping with highs and lows of family, marital, etcetera life.
This was my first Anne Tyler book, and liked it so much I would not read any other authors for months - devouring any work of hers I could lay hands on. So grateful to Miss Tyler for the positive impact her books have had on my life.
I am going to revisit all the older ones which I read decades ago - They will help me measure how much my perspectives and perceptions have changed over the years with age, growth and just having lived and experienced decades more life.
This was my first Anne Tyler book, and liked it so much I would not read any other authors for months - devouring any work of hers I could lay hands on. So grateful to Miss Tyler for the positive impact her books have had on my life.
I am going to revisit all the older ones which I read decades ago - They will help me measure how much my perspectives and perceptions have changed over the years with age, growth and just having lived and experienced decades more life.
May 27, 2020
This book was the majority choice of the book club that I belong to or else I would never have read it.
It is I must confess a very amusing book about the day in the life of a couple, Maggie and Ira Moran, married for around thirty years, who are going to the funeral of Max, the husband of Serena, a good friend of Maggie. There is unfortunately a rather disastrous, somewhat erotic, event during the reception and Maggie is not too sure if their friendship will survive this.
Odd characters punctuate the book such as Mabel, a waitress who Maggie gets into conversation with in a café. But then women do tend to gravitate towards other woman when meeting them through shopping, etc. and talk to them as if they are their closest friends. A trait that men do not possess I believe. The two children, Daisy and Jesse, the latter being one of these individuals who does not aspire to anything whereas Daisy dreams higher education. The rather unusual ex-daughter-in-law, if one can say that, Fiona who has a daughter called Leroy. I ask you, would you give a boy's name to a daughter. I believe it's due to the fact that Jesse, her husband, really wanted a baby boy. But life doesn't always work that way and the name Leroy remained for the poor unfortunate baby.
Ira often thinks that Maggie could have achieved more in life as her grades were good at school but at the age of eighteen she decided to go and work as an aide in a local old people's home, where she stayed for many years. Latterly under the fear that she would lose her job as the possibility arose that professional healthcare staff would be needed.
Her boyfriend, Boris Drumm, well he has to be the most boring character in the book but it was understood that marriage would eventually take place with Maggie, who in the meantime has discovered Ira and soon ends up with him.
There's a lot of minutia in this book. I faithfully stuck to the text one hundred percent and did not allow myself to skim read which I confess I sometimes do. Did I like this book? Well I'm unsure but I do know that I don't wish to read any more of Anne Tyler's works. So perhaps that says it all.
And she won the Pulitzer Prize for this book. Now that is incredible! I certainly don't believe she deserved it and yet the other members of my book club all thoroughly enjoyed this book. As I have always said about books, thank heavens we all have different tastes!
It is I must confess a very amusing book about the day in the life of a couple, Maggie and Ira Moran, married for around thirty years, who are going to the funeral of Max, the husband of Serena, a good friend of Maggie. There is unfortunately a rather disastrous, somewhat erotic, event during the reception and Maggie is not too sure if their friendship will survive this.
Odd characters punctuate the book such as Mabel, a waitress who Maggie gets into conversation with in a café. But then women do tend to gravitate towards other woman when meeting them through shopping, etc. and talk to them as if they are their closest friends. A trait that men do not possess I believe. The two children, Daisy and Jesse, the latter being one of these individuals who does not aspire to anything whereas Daisy dreams higher education. The rather unusual ex-daughter-in-law, if one can say that, Fiona who has a daughter called Leroy. I ask you, would you give a boy's name to a daughter. I believe it's due to the fact that Jesse, her husband, really wanted a baby boy. But life doesn't always work that way and the name Leroy remained for the poor unfortunate baby.
Ira often thinks that Maggie could have achieved more in life as her grades were good at school but at the age of eighteen she decided to go and work as an aide in a local old people's home, where she stayed for many years. Latterly under the fear that she would lose her job as the possibility arose that professional healthcare staff would be needed.
Her boyfriend, Boris Drumm, well he has to be the most boring character in the book but it was understood that marriage would eventually take place with Maggie, who in the meantime has discovered Ira and soon ends up with him.
There's a lot of minutia in this book. I faithfully stuck to the text one hundred percent and did not allow myself to skim read which I confess I sometimes do. Did I like this book? Well I'm unsure but I do know that I don't wish to read any more of Anne Tyler's works. So perhaps that says it all.
And she won the Pulitzer Prize for this book. Now that is incredible! I certainly don't believe she deserved it and yet the other members of my book club all thoroughly enjoyed this book. As I have always said about books, thank heavens we all have different tastes!
July 8, 2023
I read Breathing Lessons for a spiteful reason. It won that year's Pulitzer prize over Don DeLillo's Libra, and I made it my business to find out why. Though I still think Libra is Pulitzer worthy, I feel less incomprehensibly, irrationally wounded for its loss after reading Breathing Lessons.
Masterful on many levels. All 300 and odd pages happens over a span of one single day and how one day's eventfulness can make up for years of nothingness. How one single day can provide a mysterious glimpse of a full lived life. At the centre of the book is a couple in their late forties, The Morans, on their way to a funeral. Maggie Moran's girlhood friend's husband has passed away, and they ought to make that trip, merely 2 hours away from where they live.
What gets called into question over the next 12 hours could be anybody's guess. It's a given that a couple married for over 20 years should make it apparent how much one has over the years suffered the other. How, somehow, one has weighed in more than the other to keep the relationship going. But what's beautiful here is Anne Tyler's masterful control over her narrative. It's witty, oh so humourous I laughed out loud on many occassions, and her effortless writing to show people for who they are and let the reader be the judge who is what.
Here's a book that is consistently good but so stealthy in its brilliance and yielding, there are several human moments, where one doesn't make an intellectual connection to note down a quote or to dogear the copy of to annotate the text but simple silent spells befall the reader for having read something so utterly humane, as though a terribly simpleminded fact of life was presented without pretention, a fact that had alluded one all this while.
Masterful on many levels. All 300 and odd pages happens over a span of one single day and how one day's eventfulness can make up for years of nothingness. How one single day can provide a mysterious glimpse of a full lived life. At the centre of the book is a couple in their late forties, The Morans, on their way to a funeral. Maggie Moran's girlhood friend's husband has passed away, and they ought to make that trip, merely 2 hours away from where they live.
What gets called into question over the next 12 hours could be anybody's guess. It's a given that a couple married for over 20 years should make it apparent how much one has over the years suffered the other. How, somehow, one has weighed in more than the other to keep the relationship going. But what's beautiful here is Anne Tyler's masterful control over her narrative. It's witty, oh so humourous I laughed out loud on many occassions, and her effortless writing to show people for who they are and let the reader be the judge who is what.
Here's a book that is consistently good but so stealthy in its brilliance and yielding, there are several human moments, where one doesn't make an intellectual connection to note down a quote or to dogear the copy of to annotate the text but simple silent spells befall the reader for having read something so utterly humane, as though a terribly simpleminded fact of life was presented without pretention, a fact that had alluded one all this while.
February 6, 2017
From the book jacket: Everyone knows a couple like the Morans. Maggie, with her scatterbrained ways and her just slightly irritating – but good-hearted – attempts to make everything right for everyone.... And Ira, infinitely patient, who is addicted to solitaire and who whistles out popular tunes, the only barometer of his moods. They’ve learned all there is to know about each other ... two ordinary lives in a comfortably routine marriage. But on the road to a friend’s funeral, they make some unexpected detours – and discover how extraordinary their ordinary lives really are. ..
My reactions
I’ve had this on my TBR for ages, and just never got to it. I wish I hadn’t waited so long, but then again, maybe my own years of marriage help me better understand Maggie and Ira’s relationship – with each other, with their children, parents, co-workers, neighbors and friends.
I love the way Tyler reveals her characters to the reader. Their actions – small and large – and statements show the reader who these people are. Their hopes, dreams, frustrations, and regrets become evident over the course of the novel. I am irritated by Maggie, and yet I love her. Who doesn’t want things to work out, to see his child happy, or her spouse succeed? Who doesn’t appreciate those small tokens of affection, or get irritated by another person’s unconscious habit? I want to shake Ira, and yet I love his patient forebearance, and that he still tries to please Maggie.
Some years ago a young teen who had just read Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet asked me, “Do you think you can fall in love at fourteen?” My answer: “Falling in love is easy. Loving someone is more challenging … especially when he can’t find the dishwasher though it’s right there under the counter where he leaves the dirty dishes.” Ira and Maggie have learned to look past “the dishes” and love one another anyway. And I love them.
Their lives may be ordinary; the novel is anything but.
My reactions
I’ve had this on my TBR for ages, and just never got to it. I wish I hadn’t waited so long, but then again, maybe my own years of marriage help me better understand Maggie and Ira’s relationship – with each other, with their children, parents, co-workers, neighbors and friends.
I love the way Tyler reveals her characters to the reader. Their actions – small and large – and statements show the reader who these people are. Their hopes, dreams, frustrations, and regrets become evident over the course of the novel. I am irritated by Maggie, and yet I love her. Who doesn’t want things to work out, to see his child happy, or her spouse succeed? Who doesn’t appreciate those small tokens of affection, or get irritated by another person’s unconscious habit? I want to shake Ira, and yet I love his patient forebearance, and that he still tries to please Maggie.
Some years ago a young teen who had just read Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet asked me, “Do you think you can fall in love at fourteen?” My answer: “Falling in love is easy. Loving someone is more challenging … especially when he can’t find the dishwasher though it’s right there under the counter where he leaves the dirty dishes.” Ira and Maggie have learned to look past “the dishes” and love one another anyway. And I love them.
Their lives may be ordinary; the novel is anything but.
May 20, 2009
I enjoyed The Accidental Tourist so much that I was surprised that I found this book by Anne Tyler so much less enjoyable. Breathing Lessons won the Pulitzer Prize for fiction in 1989, which is a amazing honor. To tell you the truth, I can't really see that much merit in this book, although I will admit that Tyler's writing style is skillful. Nevertheless, this novel reminded me a little of Gustave Flaubert's philosophy when he began writing Madame Bovary. He said, "I want to write a book about nothing." Well, that's kind of what we get with Breathing Lessons. The plot doesn't consist in much more of a road trip of a middle-aged couple, Ira and Maggie Moran, to visit their former daughter-in-law, and young granddaugher, and the sad fisaco that results when they persuade her to come home with them. Apparently, Maggie is a real busybody who, several years earlier, persuaded her son's pregnant girlfriend not to have an abortion, then persuaded them to get married, then watched the whole thing fall apart, and now thinks she has to fix it, and of course, she can't and . . . Well, read the novel for its insight and style, but, again, remember what Flaubert said, and don't expect too much from the plot.
March 8, 2017
Having read 'Breathing Lessons' by Anne Tyler, for which she won the Pulitzer Prize in 1989, I am once again reminded of her extraordinary insight into the inner workings of marriage and family. In this story, we are introduced to Ira and Maggie Moran, a couple married for 28 years who have two grown children.... Jesse, a son who appears to be drifting and stuck in unrealistic fantasies of rock stardom, with a failed marriage behind him and a young daughter with whom he has no relationship; and Daisy, their overachieving daughter about to enter college but despite her intelligence, she seems to be anxious, hypercritical and derives little pleasure from her life.
This book is unusual in that the entire story takes place over the course of just one day.... but in that day, we are given access to a lifetime of memories from Ira and Maggie's lives. The story begins with a 90-mile road trip. Ira and Maggie are on their way from their home in Baltimore to the funeral of Maggie's oldest friend, Serena's husband, in Deer Lick, Pennsylvania. If you have ever taken a lengthy car trip with anyone, you will appreciate the atmosphere and the dynamics of Ira and Maggie alone in a car for a couple of hours... time alone enclosed in a small space. Tensions rise and old conflicts rear their heads and that time can tell you a great deal about the relationship between the people sharing that space. We learn much about Ira and Maggie's marriage on this car trip. Because each retreats to their own thoughts and memories, we learn how Ira and Maggie met and we learn of their early years together. We learn about them as individuals and how they relate to each other as a couple. Most importantly, I suppose, we learn about that 'difficult to describe' dynamic which sometimes occurs in a long marriage which makes the relationship, despite its difficulties, warm and comfortable.
If you have read any of Anne Tyler's novels, then you are already aware that the characters she creates are not always likable. In fact, they are often annoying and exasperating... Maggie and Ira certainly have their moments. Ira frequently disengages from emotional or otherwise intimate situations, choosing instead to play endless games of solitaire rather than discussing his feelings. And Maggie... well, she OVER shares HER feelings and other personal details of her life with anyone who appears open to listening... even complete strangers. She also seems to have made it her life's mission to meddle in the lives of those she loves...convinced that she knows what will make them happy and if she just helps them along a little, they will finally attain their hearts' desire... whether these loved ones actually WANT her help or not. As Ira said, with uncharacteristic insight.... "She thinks the people she loves are better than they really are, and so then she starts changing things around to suit her view of them."
There WAS an aspect of this story which held a great deal of appeal for me. There was an obvious correlation made between music and memory. This story is all about memories... Ira and Maggie's memories and music was the catalyst for many of their most cherished memories as a couple. At one point in the story, their thoughts about the songs they had sung at a friend's wedding decades before brought sweet memories to them of the earliest days of their romance. Although the songs mentioned over and over in this story... 'Love is a Many Splendored Thing' and 'True Love' were a bit before MY time, I could relate to the idea that music can and does evoke very powerful memories for people. Hearing songs from the 'soundtrack' of my own life can instantly transport me to a specific place and time.
'Breathing Lessons' is not an action-packed adventure story; but if you enjoy an insightful character study, this book will surely hold appeal.
This book is unusual in that the entire story takes place over the course of just one day.... but in that day, we are given access to a lifetime of memories from Ira and Maggie's lives. The story begins with a 90-mile road trip. Ira and Maggie are on their way from their home in Baltimore to the funeral of Maggie's oldest friend, Serena's husband, in Deer Lick, Pennsylvania. If you have ever taken a lengthy car trip with anyone, you will appreciate the atmosphere and the dynamics of Ira and Maggie alone in a car for a couple of hours... time alone enclosed in a small space. Tensions rise and old conflicts rear their heads and that time can tell you a great deal about the relationship between the people sharing that space. We learn much about Ira and Maggie's marriage on this car trip. Because each retreats to their own thoughts and memories, we learn how Ira and Maggie met and we learn of their early years together. We learn about them as individuals and how they relate to each other as a couple. Most importantly, I suppose, we learn about that 'difficult to describe' dynamic which sometimes occurs in a long marriage which makes the relationship, despite its difficulties, warm and comfortable.
If you have read any of Anne Tyler's novels, then you are already aware that the characters she creates are not always likable. In fact, they are often annoying and exasperating... Maggie and Ira certainly have their moments. Ira frequently disengages from emotional or otherwise intimate situations, choosing instead to play endless games of solitaire rather than discussing his feelings. And Maggie... well, she OVER shares HER feelings and other personal details of her life with anyone who appears open to listening... even complete strangers. She also seems to have made it her life's mission to meddle in the lives of those she loves...convinced that she knows what will make them happy and if she just helps them along a little, they will finally attain their hearts' desire... whether these loved ones actually WANT her help or not. As Ira said, with uncharacteristic insight.... "She thinks the people she loves are better than they really are, and so then she starts changing things around to suit her view of them."
There WAS an aspect of this story which held a great deal of appeal for me. There was an obvious correlation made between music and memory. This story is all about memories... Ira and Maggie's memories and music was the catalyst for many of their most cherished memories as a couple. At one point in the story, their thoughts about the songs they had sung at a friend's wedding decades before brought sweet memories to them of the earliest days of their romance. Although the songs mentioned over and over in this story... 'Love is a Many Splendored Thing' and 'True Love' were a bit before MY time, I could relate to the idea that music can and does evoke very powerful memories for people. Hearing songs from the 'soundtrack' of my own life can instantly transport me to a specific place and time.
'Breathing Lessons' is not an action-packed adventure story; but if you enjoy an insightful character study, this book will surely hold appeal.
May 9, 2020
This has gone straight to the top 10 of my favourite books list, perfect through its subtlety and delicate handling of small towns, mid life and everyday disappointments, all done with such humour and restraint. This isn’t a grand, sweeping epic but it is an epic depiction of normality and all the complexity that comes with that.
Maggie was such an incredible character created with such equal doses of hilarity, tragedy and empathy, you adore her despite or maybe because of her moments of pure ridiculousness. I love how Tyler uses one hot summer’s day to sew together a picture of 40 years and weave such intricate portraits of characters through such simple but evocative moments and imagery. The idea of history repeating itself and consistently reaching backwards for happier times felt so human and so futile all at once. I felt like I had something of an awakening of my own seeing these characters continued cycles that just repeated themselves over and over!
One of the best takeaways was that every character via their relationship with other characters was understandable, each and everyone though flawed and even awful in some ways, was deserving of empathy and understanding and I thought that was really rare. There were no heroes or villains, just complicated, doing-their- best humans and I loved that.
I appreciated Tyler as a novelist before reading this but this has now catapulted her to the top of my favourite authors list. To me, a truly iconic portrait of mid-marriage, mid-life and middle America.
Maggie was such an incredible character created with such equal doses of hilarity, tragedy and empathy, you adore her despite or maybe because of her moments of pure ridiculousness. I love how Tyler uses one hot summer’s day to sew together a picture of 40 years and weave such intricate portraits of characters through such simple but evocative moments and imagery. The idea of history repeating itself and consistently reaching backwards for happier times felt so human and so futile all at once. I felt like I had something of an awakening of my own seeing these characters continued cycles that just repeated themselves over and over!
One of the best takeaways was that every character via their relationship with other characters was understandable, each and everyone though flawed and even awful in some ways, was deserving of empathy and understanding and I thought that was really rare. There were no heroes or villains, just complicated, doing-their- best humans and I loved that.
I appreciated Tyler as a novelist before reading this but this has now catapulted her to the top of my favourite authors list. To me, a truly iconic portrait of mid-marriage, mid-life and middle America.
September 13, 2023
Ce mult mi-a plăcut cartea!
Totul se-ntâmplă într-o singură zi, în care Maggie și soțul ei, Ira, se duc la înmormântarea soțului prietenei ei din copilărie, Serena. La un moment dat, lucrurile se complică (dar e și amuzant), ei pleacă val-vârtej de acolo, iar Maggie își propune, la-ntoarcere spre casă, să meargă la fosta noră pentru a-și vedea nepoțica de 5 ani, eventual să le invite la ei acasă.
Este o incursiune în trecut, combinată cu prezentul, Tyler scrie despre familie, dragoste, eșec, dar, mai ales, despre puterea de a o lua mereu de la capăt.
Scriitoarea a reușit să redea esențialul dintr-o căsnicie bine sudată, o relație normală, de fapt, între doi oameni care se iubesc. Iar Maggie e fabuloasă tocmai prin capacitatea ei de a accepta realitatea și de a încerca din nou și din nou, să-și facă fericită familia și nu numai. Senzaționalul nu e ceva ieșit din comun, ne învață Tyler, e doar umanitatea din noi.
Totul se-ntâmplă într-o singură zi, în care Maggie și soțul ei, Ira, se duc la înmormântarea soțului prietenei ei din copilărie, Serena. La un moment dat, lucrurile se complică (dar e și amuzant), ei pleacă val-vârtej de acolo, iar Maggie își propune, la-ntoarcere spre casă, să meargă la fosta noră pentru a-și vedea nepoțica de 5 ani, eventual să le invite la ei acasă.
Este o incursiune în trecut, combinată cu prezentul, Tyler scrie despre familie, dragoste, eșec, dar, mai ales, despre puterea de a o lua mereu de la capăt.
Scriitoarea a reușit să redea esențialul dintr-o căsnicie bine sudată, o relație normală, de fapt, între doi oameni care se iubesc. Iar Maggie e fabuloasă tocmai prin capacitatea ei de a accepta realitatea și de a încerca din nou și din nou, să-și facă fericită familia și nu numai. Senzaționalul nu e ceva ieșit din comun, ne învață Tyler, e doar umanitatea din noi.
November 16, 2021
Well, I've finished reading another one of Anne Tyler's delightful novels set in the Baltimore suburbs not that far from where I live near Washington, D.C. Goodreads tells me Breathing Lessons is the seventh title of hers I've read. LOL. I'm getting so I depend on GR to keep track of which books I've read, so I don't repeat myself. There's so much to marvel at in AT's fiction. Her quirky characters, her sharply observed scenes, her gentle humorous asides, her effortless dialogue that just flows, and I don't know what all else. It's funny. I'll read something she's written, then stop and think "that's right!" to myself. She describes it in a way that I can't, but I comprehend exactly what she means. At any rate, reading her again has been a special treat.
September 11, 2018
An enjoyable enough story but honestly not my favorite of Anne Tyler's. Sometimes it's funny to me how the most popular or award-winning books from an author or the ones that end of resonating with me the least. Though to be fair most of this story is about a 28-year long marriage and a meddlesome older woman, and I just didn't really click with her as a character or care for her all that much. Generally, though, I do love Tyler's characters and despite her stories often being plotless, she is able to capture my attention. This one struggled to do that moreso than others. Not a bad book by any means, but not her best.
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