| Foreword by Sarah Silverman | xi | ||
| Cursed from the Start | 1 | ||
| The Bedwetter | 17 | ||
| My Nana Was Great but Now She's Dead | 45 | ||
| Hymen, Goodbyemen | 51 | ||
| Some of My More Moving Violations | 63 | ||
| Sarah Silverman: The College Year | 73 | ||
| Make It a Treat | 93 | ||
| Live from New York, You're Fired | 101 | ||
| Fear and Clothing | 115 | ||
| Midword | 125 | ||
| Explosive Diary | 135 | ||
| Me Play Joke | 143 | ||
| Calls from Schleppy | 165 | ||
| The Most Important Thing in Life: Being on TV | 173 | ||
| The Second-Most-Important Thing in Life: Love | 213 | ||
| Jew | 217 | ||
| Afterword by God | 233 | ||
| Thanks-Yous | 239 |