Jesus Freak

Feeding Healing Raising the Dead
By Sara Miles

John Wiley & Sons

Copyright © 2010 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-0-470-48166-0


Chapter One

come and see

Somebody told me a story. And it turned out to be true.

According to Jewish and Christian tradition, we understand God through stories. How the stars were set in the firmament. The time the big brother cheated the little brother. What happened to the women who went to the tomb and found it empty. The Bible is stuffed with tales that jumble together the stuff of spirit-burning bushes, angry angels, mysterious clouds, and voices from heaven-with the most prosaic and earthbound details: bread, water, a coat; bricks, weeds, an argument among siblings, labor pains. We can barely wrap our minds around it all, but we keep listening. By the time Jesus appears, he's holding everything indivisible: body and soul, heaven and earth.

I tasted Jesus before I read about him, and turned back to Scripture for clues about what I'd already experienced in my own body. Listening to and reading the Gospel accounts felt, for me, like the opposite of that old game of Telephone, where a phrase is passed down a line, losing its sense as each person attempts to repeat the words exactly. Instead, the tales about Jesus only gain significance in repetition, gain depth and breadth as they resound through different readers, are stuttered or proclaimed in a million different voices, down the years. Interpretations multiply, but in place of chaos there's a glimpse of something that looks like truth: vast as galaxies flung across a night sky, specific as a puddle by the side of a road in Galilee or a rutted sidewalk in East Oakland.

Here's what I hear: Jesus is the Word made flesh. While he lived among us, what he said and what he did were the same thing. His human body was God's language, as much as his human speech.

Sometimes, in the Gospels, this language is easy to read, as when Jesus lifts a hand to rebuke the waves; pronounces, "Be quiet"; and the tempest is stilled. Sometimes it's frustratingly mysterious, as when he scribbles in the dirt with a stick or invites his friends to eat his flesh. Jesus' dense parables are invitations into more and more meaning, as are the daily actions he undertakes: walking, washing, lifting, touching, sleeping, eating a piece of grilled fish with his bare hands.

But it's all teaching, and it's all driving toward a point-though it's frequently confusing. "What do you see?" Jesus asks, as he rubs spit in someone's eyes. Or, teaching a clueless crowd: "What do you think that landowner would do?" Then, in a seemingly unconnected gesture, he takes off his clothes, kneels down, and washes some man's feet. But I don't think the words and the actions recorded in the Gospels are random. Jesus is showing his disciples some crucial things about the nature of God, so that they could participate fully in God's work after he was gone. So that their feeding, healing, and forgiving would take place on God's terms, and add up to resurrection.

In stories that still have the power to scare us, Jesus tells his disciples to live by the upside-down values of God's kingdom, rather than the fear-driven values of human society. He shows how family, tribe, money, violence, and religion-the powers of the world-cannot stand against the love of God. And he tells us that we, too, are called to follow him in breaking down all worldly divisions that get in the way of carrying out his instructions. Sure, it's impossible to feed five thousand people, make a deaf man hear, bring a dead girl to life, as long as you obey human rules. So do it God's way instead, Jesus teaches. Say yes. Jump right in. Come and see. Embrace the wrong people. Don't idolize religion. Have mercy. Jesus' tips cast a light forward, steering us through the dark.

* * *

Say yes. This message is first delivered not by Jesus but by his mother, following her astonishing encounter with the angel Gabriel. "OK, God," Mary says to the impossible proposition, and Jesus comes to live in her.

As an unmarried girl in the ancient agricultural world, Mary represents the most unlikely spokesperson for a powerful deity. Yet this unimportant person fearlessly carries God's good news that the proud will be scattered in their conceit, the hungry will be filled with good things, the rich sent away empty, and the lowly lifted up.

It is, of course, profoundly unsettling news: Mary doesn't need a man to have a baby. She isn't going to follow worldly norms. In fact, she prophesizes the overturning of the whole social order. She doesn't ask permission of kings or family or priests to step off the precipice into unprecedented experience.

But her choice is also revolutionary because she submits. Mary sings out her yes without knowing what will happen. Trusting God, Mary opens herself to humiliation, physical pain, dislocation, terror, loss. And yet, just as Jesus will, she calls herself blessed.

Her courage remains a signpost for all humankind-for all the unimportant, frightened, powerless people who doubt that God can work through us. As the fourth-century bishop Gregory of Nyssa wrote, "What was achieved in the body of Mary will happen in the soul of everyone who receives the Word."

Reports keep showing up over the centuries of Mary speaking to people in their own languages, appearing to cripples and prisoners, to refugees and shame-filled pregnant girls, sharing the message that the angel brought her: Don't be afraid. She whispers that it doesn't matter how unqualified we think we are; God can make new life in us, too.

Because at the annunciation, Mary didn't get safety. She got a child she couldn't give a place to lay his head, a child she couldn't save from violence. Mary said yes; she got Jesus.

* * *

Jump right in. I like to think Jesus learned something about saying yes from his mom. In any case, he repeats the message at his baptism, driving home a few more essential points about the nature of God's relationship with humans.

The first thing we learn from the story of Jesus' baptism is that God is probably not planning to reveal anything particularly important in church, or in any kind of temple we think is appropriate for the holy, or through anyone who's an official holy man. It's nice to imagine John the Baptist as a revered religious leader who led beautiful spiritual ceremonies outdoors, in the lovely flowing water. But John the Baptist was, not to put too fine a point on it, a total nutcase, sort of like the unwashed guy with the skanky dreadlocks and the plastic bags over his socks who sleeps in the entryway to the library. John the Baptist ate bugs. He ranted and raved and spoke sedition. He railed at decent temple-goers, shouting that their sacred ceremonies were useless, threatening them with damnation if they didn't repent. And though he wasn't a priest, he dared to claim that he could baptize for the forgiveness of sins.

And the river Jordan was not even slightly picturesque: it was a muddy stream, right by the side of a public road, and John told people to walk into it, all kinds of men and women together, with no respect for order. The contemporary equivalent would be a homeless schizophrenic waving his fist at priests and cops, then yelling to a crowd that they should get down on their knees together on the filthy floor of the bathroom in the Greyhound bus station and repent.

In other words, just as the unmarried teenager Mary is the mother of God, so the madman John is the baptizer of God: both improper figures, completely unauthorized by the religious authorities. And just as a mucky feed trough is where Mary lays the bread of heaven, so the river Jordan is where John anoints the Son of God: inappropriate locations for something holy to occur.

This common water is where Jesus chooses to be baptized. This profane setting, outside the majestic temple doors, is where God chooses to reveal his love for his son. Like the table Jesus will share with tax collectors and sinners, like, in fact, the cross: these scandalous places are exactly where we will find salvation.

And then Jesus does nothing pious to please God. Jesus doesn't say the correct prayers first, or do good deeds, or offer animal sacrifice to win God's favor. He just is. He jumps into the river, the rushing water of the world, with his human body, and the Spirit of God comes over him. Jesus and God and the Spirit know each other, and God says: this is my son, my beloved, with whom I am well pleased.

This recognition, this total union among God and Jesus and the Spirit, tears the heavens. It rips them apart, just as they will be ripped apart at the crucifixion. The veil between heaven and earth, the veil constructed by religion to separate humans from God, is torn asunder forever by the absolute fact of Jesus. Jesus who is utterly, dirtily human; Jesus who just wades into the water and accepts the divine Spirit coming to dwell in his flesh. As it will, through him, come to dwell in us.

* * *

And how do we know this? Come and see, says Jesus, kicking off his public ministry after his baptism. It's a statement that's got more than a little dare in it; more than a little edge. This is the Jesus that Paul and I started referring to as "the Boyfriend." We used it as a colloquial version of the ancient Christian name of "Bridegroom" for Jesus, but it felt more personal-and funny, if a little disturbing, because that's how Jesus is.

In the Gospel story, Jesus asks two of John's disciples what they're looking for, and Andrew politely says, "Rabbi, where are you staying?" Then the Boyfriend says, simply, come and see. In this story we learn what Jesus is like, and how he sees us, and what he's going to ask of us, the disciples. How our relationship is going to be.

Right away, the Boyfriend makes clear where he's staying. He is staying with us. On earth. Period. And he's inviting us to come and see what it means to abide in a human body in the world. The Boyfriend is moving in.

So what's he like? One, he's promiscuous. Because Jesus is the kind of boyfriend who'll go with anyone. He picks up John's disciples. He chats with strangers. He'll even flirt with two brothers at the same time-he has no shame. Jesus talks to anyone: Jews, Gentiles, women, children, foreigners. He's soft on them. He touches them. He calls them by name.

Two, the Boyfriend is a bit of a troublemaker. He likes to stir things up. In the conventional order, only members of Aaron's royal family get anointed to the priesthood in an exclusive temple ritual. But Jesus goes to John, the mad prophet, instead. Jesus wades right in and comes up shining, and then he starts getting everyone else riled up. Okay, ready or not, he says, let's go: come and see.

Jesus isn't the kind of boyfriend, in my experience, who's just going to smile and be agreeable. He's the thrilling, scary Boyfriend who's going to dare you to do things you'd never dreamed of, shower you with unreasonable presents, and show up uninvited at the most embarrassing times. Then he's going to stick with you, refusing to take the hint when you don't answer his calls.

In the story of Andrew, Jesus is just beginning his love affair with all humankind. That first baptism in the Jordan will lead to baptisms of fire, tears, the cup, and the cross; Jesus will submit and go under it all, falling and coming up, dying and rising, and he will never, ever, let his lovers go.

But to start, Jesus simply looks at us. He sees us, face to face. And what he sees about us-his confused, doubting, selfish followers-is that we, too, are beloved children of God. That we, dumb and dim as Andrew, as Peter, as any crushed-out ninth-grade girl or sulky teenage boy, are part of the Boyfriend's body: one flesh with him, and with all humankind.

Oh, my dears, says the Boyfriend. This is how it's going to be from now on. All those other discipleships are over, because I'm here now, for good. This is what our relationship is going to be like: I love you, and you love me and each other. Come and see.

Jesus doesn't make us obey by claiming the mantle of religious authority or worldly power: he meets us at someone's ordinary house, at four in the afternoon. He doesn't ask us to prepare and purify ourselves: he takes us as we are. This Boyfriend is not a big talker. He just invites us, without exception, into experience. It's a dare, and it's a promise. Come and see, he says. Our Boyfriend insists on staying with people. He abides with us in the lowliest places, kisses the most despised sinners, sticks around for the worst messes humans can make. And even when we doubt the love, even when we wreak jealous violence on his other beloveds, even when we try to break up, the Boyfriend is still there. He still wants us to touch him, eat him, become him.

Because the thing about Jesus, the story turns out, is that he believes in us, the people who betray his love, just as he believed in Andrew and poor frightened Peter. Jesus trusts that humans have the power to truly see him ourselves. He believes that our mortal bodies, our experiences here on earth, are enough to bear and hold God. He knows we can find him in our own flesh, and in the flesh of others.

* * * Embrace the wrong people. In the public works that follow his baptism and call to those first followers, the itinerant teacher and healer Jesus keeps making the point that salvation doesn't depend on worldly status, or even on religious observance. In a whole series of stories, Jesus demonstrates that God deliberately chooses the stranger, the outcast, the foreigner, the sick and unclean-in short, the wrong people-to show the scope of his love.

The story of Jesus and the man blind from birth begins with the assumption-common to all cultures-that we can exclude people from the ranks of God's beloved. In this example, the blind man is assumed to be guilty: either he or his parents must have sinned to cause his defect. In other stories and other times, we see slaves, foreigners, cripples, the sick, sexual deviants, and beggars excluded, forced to fill the role of the sacrificial victim.

These victims are key to every human story, because outcasts define the center. It works the same way in our own time: you hear what you call an accent, and you know by this that you aren't a foreigner. You see a guy who acts like a fag, and you know you're a real man. You see the slow kids sitting by themselves in the junior high school lunchroom, and you know you're normal. And the church, of course, needs heretics in order to establish orthodoxy. So outcasts are essential, because they define the norm for the rest of the community.

And the laws of religion, then and now, thrive on our need for outcasts. They codify who's in and who's out, what's a right day for healing and what's a wrong one, who's pure and who deserves to be struck down with a disease that makes them untouchable. Then the priests, as Jesus knew well, become the only ones allowed to pronounce someone healed or contaminated, the only ones who can establish who's inside and outside. It's a system that the world-and religion-run well on.

But when Jesus restores the blind man's sight, he offers us a way to let God's radical grace disrupt this system. To live in faith. To see as God does.

It's a frightening offer, because accepting it means accepting that healing may not always come the way we wish it to. That the strange or the sick may, in fact, hold the key to the healing of the "normal" ones. That priests can't decide whom God loves.

None of us can control what God does. But we can open our eyes and see what God is doing. Jesus says that in order to see the glory of God revealed, we have to look at the whole of creation: God is always among us, making us whole even as we try to divide ourselves, loving us even as we hate each other.

Look at the lame, he says, at the plagued, the poor: those you've cast out, those whose suffering you misinterpret as a sign of their own sinfulness. Don't call unclean anything God has created; do not exclude anything or anyone from your vision. It is all God's work.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from Jesus Freak by Sara Miles Copyright © 2010 by John Wiley & Sons, Ltd. Excerpted by permission.
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