The princess beard

Summary: "Once upon a time a princess slept in a magical tower cloaked in thorns and roses, waiting for true love's kiss. Or so her father told her. Instead, she woke up on her own, cut off all that pesky long hair, and used it to escape. But she kept the beard, because it made a great disguise. This is not a story about finding Prince Charming-- it's a story about finding yourself. On a pirate ship. Where you belong. But these are no ordinary pirate misfits aboard The Puffy Peach, serving under Filthy Lucre, the one-eyed parrot pirate captain. First there's Vic, a swole and misogynistic centaur on a mission to expunge himself of the magic that causes him to conjure tea and dainty cupcakes when confronted. Then there's Tempest, who's determined to become the first dryad lawyer-- preferably before she takes her ultimate form as a man-eating tree. They're joined by Alobartolus, an awkward and unelfly elf who longs to meet his hero, the Sn'archivist who is said to take diction directly from the gods of Pell. Throw in some mystery meat and a dastardly capitalist plot, and you've got one Pell of an adventure on the high seas!"--