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Summary
Summary
INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER!
"Rarely have I read a book that challenged me to see myself in an entirely new light, and was at the same time laugh-out-loud funny and utterly absorbing."--Katie Couric
"This is a daring, delightful, and transformative book."--Arianna Huffington, Founder, Huffington Post and Founder & CEO, Thrive Global
"Wise, warm, smart, and funny. You must read this book."--Susan Cain, New York Times best-selling author of Quiet
From a New York Times best-selling author, psychotherapist, and national advice columnist, a hilarious, thought-provoking, and surprising new book that takes us behind the scenes of a therapist's world--where her patients are looking for answers (and so is she).
One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
As Gottlieb explores the inner chambers of her patients' lives -- a self-absorbed Hollywood producer, a young newlywed diagnosed with a terminal illness, a senior citizen threatening to end her life on her birthday if nothing gets better, and a twenty-something who can't stop hooking up with the wrong guys -- she finds that the questions they are struggling with are the very ones she is now bringing to Wendell.
With startling wisdom and humor, Gottlieb invites us into her world as both clinician and patient, examining the truths and fictions we tell ourselves and others as we teeter on the tightrope between love and desire, meaning and mortality, guilt and redemption, terror and courage, hope and change.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is revolutionary in its candor, offering a deeply personal yet universal tour of our hearts and minds and providing the rarest of gifts: a boldly revealing portrait of what it means to be human, and a disarmingly funny and illuminating account of our own mysterious lives and our power to transform them.
Author Notes
Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and author of the New York Times bestseller Maybe You Should Talk to Someone , which is being adapted as a television series. In addition to her clinical practice, she writes The Atlantic's weekly "Dear Therapist" advice column and contributes regularly to The New York Times and many other publications. Her recent TED Talk is one of the top 10 most watched of the year . A member of the Advisory Council for Bring Change to Mind, she is a sought-after expert in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, The CBS This Morning, CNN, and NPR's "Fresh Air." She is also the co-host of the new iHeart Radio podcast, "Dear Therapists," produced by Katie Couric. Learn more at LoriGottlieb.com or by following her on Twitter @LoriGottlieb1 and Instagram @lorigottlieb_author .
Reviews (3)
Publisher's Weekly Review
Gottlieb (Marry Him) provides a sparkling and sometimes moving account of her work as a psychotherapist, with the twist that she is in therapy herself. Interspersing chapters about her experiences as a patient with others about her work, she explains, "We are mirrors reflecting mirrors reflecting mirrors, showing one another what we can't yet see." By exploring her own struggles alongside those of her patients, Gottlieb simultaneously illuminates what it's like to be in and to give therapy. As she observes, "Everything we therapists do or say or feel as we sit with our patients is mediated by our histories; everything I've experienced will influence how I am in any given session at any given hour." From "John," a successful TV producer who has walled himself away from other people, to "Julie," who has a terminal illness and is struggling to find her way through her life's closing chapters, Gottlieb portrays her patients, as well as herself as a patient, with compassion, humor, and grace. For someone considering but hesitant to enter therapy, Gottlieb's thoughtful and compassionate work will calm anxieties about the process; for experienced therapists, it will provide an abundance of insights into their own work. (Apr.) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.
Booklist Review
Therapists' private lives tend to take a backseat to their patients', but here Gottlieb (Marry Him, 2010) lifts the therapeutic veil and invites readers into her personal struggles of having a mystifying "wandering uterus" and a boyfriend who unceremoniously declares that he doesn't want to help raise her young child, let alone any other possible children. This would be interesting fodder enough, but Gottlieb plunges further into the psychological depths as she discloses how therapists keep each other honest by discussing their cases in an almost AA-like fashion. Additionally, she shares some of her clients' stories (anonymously, of course), like that of "Julie," who is dying and won't live past 35, or "Rita," who regrets not protecting her children from their alcoholic father. The coup de grace, though, is Gottlieb's vulnerability when she tackles her emotional issues in sessions with her own therapist. Some readers will know Gottlieb from her many TV appearances or her Dear Therapist column, but even for the uninitiated-to-Gottlieb, it won't take long to settle in with this compelling read.--Joan Curbow Copyright 2019 Booklist
Library Journal Review
Atlantic "Dear Therapist" advice columnist Gottlieb (Marry Him) draws on diverse experiences from her many years as a psychotherapist to offer a guided tour of the therapeutic process from the viewpoint of both therapist and patient. After experiencing an emotional crisis, Gottlieb struggles to come to terms with her own feelings, even as she continues working with long-term patients whose stories she blends into the narrative of her own; their questioning, search for meaning, and desires, guilt, and exploration of mortality all strike home as the author shares bravely open discussions with her therapist. Gottlieb finds herself learning powerful lessons from her patients as they untangle their emotional challenges while learning to understand her own self-image and what it genuinely means to be human. While this work nicely bridges the gap between patient and therapist, professionals in the field are advised to stick with the more solid substance found in the approaches of Victor Frankl, Carl Jung, Albert Camus, or Friedrich Nietzsche. VERDICT Written with grace, humor, wisdom, and compassion, this heartwarming journey of self-discovery should appeal to fans of Mitch Alborn and Nicholas Sparks. [See Prepub Alert, 10/29/18.]-Dale Farris, Groves, TX © Copyright 2019. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Table of Contents
| Part 1 | |
| 1 Idiots | p. 3 |
| 2 If the Queen Had Balls | p. 11 |
| 3 The Space of a Step | p. 18 |
| 4 The Smart One or the Hot One | p. 23 |
| 5 Namast'ay in Bed | p. 28 |
| 6 Finding Wendell | p. 34 |
| 7 The Beginning of Knowing | p. 41 |
| 8 Rosie | p. 50 |
| 9 Snapshots of Ourselves | p. 57 |
| 10 The Future Is Also the Present | p. 59 |
| 11 Goodbye, Hollywood | p. 68 |
| 12 Welcome to Holland | p. 74 |
| 13 How Kids Deal with Grief | p. 81 |
| 14 Harold and Maude | p. 84 |
| 15 Hold the Mayo | p. 89 |
| 16 The Whole Package | p. 99 |
| 17 Without Memory or Desire | p. 109 |
| Part 2 | |
| 18 Fridays at Four | p. 119 |
| 19 What We Dream Of | p. 126 |
| 20 The First Confession | p. 130 |
| 21 Therapy with a Condom On | p. 136 |
| 22 Jail | p. 148 |
| 23 Trader Joe's | p. 155 |
| 24 Hello, Family | p. 160 |
| 25 The UPS Guy | p. 172 |
| 26 Embarrassing Public Encounters | p. 176 |
| 27 Wendell's Mother | p. 183 |
| 28 Addicted | p. 190 |
| 29 The Rapist | p. 198 |
| 30 On the Clock | p. 208 |
| Part 3 | |
| 31 My Wandering Uterus | p. 217 |
| 32 Emergency Session | p. 225 |
| 33 Karma | p. 232 |
| 34 Just Be | p. 239 |
| 35 Would You Rather? | p. 242 |
| 36 The Speed of Wane | p. 255 |
| 37 Ultimate Concerns | p. 262 |
| 38 Legoland | p. 269 |
| 39 How Humans Change | p. 281 |
| 40 Fathers | p. 288 |
| 41 Integrity Versus Despair | p. 295 |
| 42 My Neshama | p. 305 |
| 43 What Not to Say to a Dying Person | p. 309 |
| 44 Boyfriend's Email | p. 314 |
| 45 Wendell's Beard | p. 318 |
| Part 4 | |
| 46 The Bees | p. 327 |
| 47 Kenya | p. 335 |
| 48 Psychological Immune System | p. 337 |
| 49 Counseling Versus Therapy | p. 346 |
| 50 Deathzilla | p. 352 |
| 51 Deal-Myron | p. 358 |
| 52 Mothers | p. 366 |
| 53 The Hug | p. 372 |
| 54 Don't Blow It | p. 378 |
| 55 It's My Party and You'll Cry if You Want To | p. 388 |
| 56 Happiness Is Sometimes | p. 395 |
| 57 Wendell | p. 403 |
| 58 A Pause in the Conversation | p. 408 |
| Acknowledgments | p. 413 |