Advice not given : a guide to getting over yourself / Mark Epstein, MD.

Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:

"Most people will never find a great psychiatrist or a great Buddhist teacher, but Mark Epstein is both, and the wisdom he imparts in Advice Not Given is an act of generosity and compassion. The book is a tonic for the ailments of our time."--Ann Patchett, New York Times bestselling author of Commonwealth

Our ego, and its accompanying sense of nagging self-doubt as we work to be bigger, better, smarter, and more in control, is one affliction we all share. And while our ego claims to have our best interests at heart, in its never-ending pursuit of attention and power, it sabotages the very goals it sets to achieve. In Advice Not Given , renowned psychiatrist and author Dr. Mark Epstein reveals how Buddhism and Western psychotherapy, two traditions that developed in entirely different times and places and, until recently, had nothing to do with each other, both identify the ego as the limiting factor in our well-being, and both come to the same conclusion: When we give the ego free rein, we suffer; but when it learns to let go, we are free.

With great insight, and in a deeply personal style, Epstein offers readers a how-to guide that refuses a quick fix, grounded in two traditions devoted to maximizing the human potential for living a better life. Using the Eightfold Path, eight areas of self-reflection that Buddhists believe necessary for enlightenment, as his scaffolding, Epstein looks back productively on his own experience and that of his patients. While the ideas of the Eightfold Path are as old as Buddhism itself, when informed by the sensibility of Western psychotherapy, they become something more: a road map for spiritual and psychological growth, a way of dealing with the intractable problem of the ego. Breaking down the wall between East and West, Epstein brings a Buddhist sensibility to therapy and a therapist's practicality to Buddhism. Speaking clearly and directly, he offers a rethinking of mindfulness that encourages people to be more watchful of their ego, an idea with a strong foothold in Buddhism but now for the first time applied in the context of psychotherapy.

Our ego is at once our biggest obstacle and our greatest hope. We can be at its mercy or we can learn to mold it. Completely unique and practical, Epstein's advice can be used by all--each in his or her own way--and will provide wise counsel in a confusing world. After all, as he says, "Our egos can use all the help they can get."

Table of contents provided by Syndetics

• Introduction (p. 1)
• 1 Right View (p. 19)
• 2 Right Motivation (p. 41)
• 3 Right Speech (p. 65)
• 4 Right Action (p. 85)
• 5 Right Livelihood (p. 105)
• 6 Right Effort (p. 123)
• 7 Right Mindfulness (p. 149)
• 8 Right Concentration (p. 169)
• Epilogue (p. 189)
• Acknowledgments (p. 193)
• Notes (p. 195)
• Index (p. 199)

Reviews provided by Syndetics

Publishers Weekly Review

Using a mixture of personal stories, Buddhist texts, and Western psychology, Epstein (Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart), a practicing psychiatrist and Buddhist, shares advice and techniques for managing emotions. The book is organized around a framework of the Buddhist eightfold path, which keeps Epstein's message clear while educating readers in the basics of Buddhist thought. As such, he suggests many ways of controlling the ego, all stemming from meditation practice, like (counterintuitively) not making a big deal out of life-changing events such as the deaths of loved ones and acknowledging unconscious influences in order to overcome them. However, while the first few chapters provide a smooth synthesis of Buddhism and psychiatry, the later chapters (particularly those on mindfulness and concentration) blend the practices less successfully and tend to focus more on mystical Buddhist experiences. Epstein is an excruciatingly honest guide; though an expert in multiple fields, he takes pains to provide advice not as an authority, but through stories that allow readers to draw their own conclusions. To this end, he often includes Buddhist parables and personal anecdotes to illustrate his points. Epstein's book of practical suggestions will leave readers educated, inspired, and equipped with new tools for psychological health. (Jan.) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

Kirkus Book Review

A succinct look at the junction point of psychotherapy and Buddhism.In this how-to self-help guide, psychiatrist Epstein (The Trauma of Everyday Life, 2013, etc.) attempts to find similarities between Buddhism and psychotherapy, though he never tries to equate them, and, in doing so, qualify them as the same practices. "The ego needs our help," he writes, "If we want a more satisfying existence, we have to teach it to loosen its grip." So begins the author's efforts to understand what practical measures exist in both practices to help us cope with the weight of our selves. In undertaking such a complex question, Epstein makes it clear that there is only one way to comprehend this exercise: "Awakening does not make the ego disappear; it changes one's relationship to it." To reach such states of wellness, the author explains that we must reposition our attitudes toward the vicissitudes of life, opting for a series of approaches: Right View (be present in the now), Right Motivation ("we do not have to be at the mercy of our neuroses"), Right Speech (how we talk to ourselves), Right Action ("not acting destructively"), Right Livelihood ("avoidingdeceit or exploitation"), Right Effort (do not allow the ego to "sabotage its goal"), Right Mindfulness ("a dispassionate knowing of thoughtsas they come and go"), and, finally, Right Concentration ("temporarily dispelling the repetitive thoughts of the everyday mind"). To illustrate these mindsets, Epstein sprinkles the text with personal anecdotes, which are alternately pedantic and useful in visualizing his arguments. The author often refers to his patients and his friends to demonstrate how one mindset can quickly change to a healthier one, though it is clear he has taken himself as the primary example, with Freud and Donald Winnicott as theoretical foundations.A moderately intriguing book that may cause readers to think twice about their actionsbut that may also leave them largely unchanged. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.