Vulvus, Viago, and Deacon are vampires who live here, among us. They are real vampires; undead, immortal creatures who stalk the night and search for human blood, preferably virgins. Witness the many horrid, abominable aspects of vampire life, such as hunting and feeding, vampire rivalry and fighting with werewolves, as well as normal night to night aspects that make them not so different from us like, keeping the flat clean, jobs, shopping, meeting...

Four vampires have lived together for hundreds of years. After an unexpected visit from their dark lord and leader, they're reminded that they were initially tasked with completing domination of the New World upon their arrival in Staten Island; over a hundred years ago. But what exactly is the best way to go about achieving said domination?