Unfollow : a memoir of loving and leaving the Westboro Baptist Church /

Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:

The activist and TED speaker Megan Phelps-Roper reveals her life growing up in the most hated family in America

At the age of five, Megan Phelps-Roper began protesting homosexuality and other alleged vices alongside fellow members of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas. Founded by her grandfather and consisting almost entirely of her extended family, the tiny group would gain worldwide notoriety for its pickets at military funerals and celebrations of death and tragedy. As Phelps-Roper grew up, she saw that church members were close companions and accomplished debaters, applying the logic of predestination and the language of the King James Bible to everyday life with aplomb--which, as the church's Twitter spokeswoman, she learned to do with great skill. Soon, however, dialogue on Twitter caused her to begin doubting the church's leaders and message: If humans were sinful and fallible, how could the church itself be so confident about its beliefs? As she digitally jousted with critics, she started to wonder if sometimes they had a point--and then she began exchanging messages with a man who would help change her life.

A gripping memoir of escaping extremism and falling in love, Unfollow relates Phelps-Roper's moral awakening, her departure from the church, and how she exchanged the absolutes she grew up with for new forms of warmth and community. Rich with suspense and thoughtful reflection, Phelps-Roper's life story exposes the dangers of black-and-white thinking and the need for true humility in a time of angry polarization.

Reviews provided by Syndetics

Library Journal Review

Phelps-Roper placed complete faith in the scripture of the King James Bible and the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) to guide her life. The granddaughter to Westboro Baptist Church's founder, Fred Phelps, the author began picketing at age five to protest against lifestyle choices deemed sinful by WBC. Her dogmatic beliefs never wavered despite education, extensive Internet access, and exposure to pop culture--her lens on the world was always in the context of scripture. Phelps-Roper managed the church's social media accounts, engaging critics on WBC's controversial picketing, which became global in scope. Her acumen on Twitter attracted a vast amount of attention from media and everyday people. From this, an unlikely friendship developed with a man who had questions about WBC, fostering a depth of inquiry that eventually led Phelps-Roper's beliefs to pivot. She thoughtfully unpacks her gradual awakening to compassion and living from the heart in order to help the very people against whom she used to protest. VERDICT A unique, engaging memoir peppered with Bible verses to help illustrate how dogma can both shape and distort the truth. An excellent addition to collections containing Amber Scorah's Leaving the Witness and Tara Westover's Educated.--Angela Forret, Clive, IA

Publishers Weekly Review

Phelps-Roper, granddaughter of Fred Phelps, founder of the Westboro Baptist Church, charts her journey from childhood church devotee to adult skeptic in her excellent debut memoir. She explores her early years immersed in the insular community of her family's church, a Kansas-based denomination known for picketing funerals of U.S. service members and widely decried as a hate group. Convinced by the church's teachings about scripture and sin, Phelps-Roper recounts spending her adolescence calling America to repentance and defending the views of the Westboro Baptist Church vociferously on Twitter. But then, as a young adult, in part due to thoughtful interactions on Twitter where she spars with critics of her church but also "relished confounding expectations," her faith begins to unravel. After she expresses her doubts, she is ostracized from her family. Phelps-Roper's intelligence and compassion shine throughout with electric prose ("the foundation of it all was a belief that our hearts had led us true when they told us the Bible was the answer... our unreliable, desperately wicked, deceitful hearts), an eye for detail, and a near-encyclopedic knowledge of the Bible. She admirably explicates the worldview of the Westboro Baptist Church while humanizing its members, and recounts a classic coming-of-age story without resorting to cliché or condescending to her former self. For anyone interested in the power of rhetoric, belief, and family, Phelps-Roper's powerful, empathetic memoir will be a must-read. (Oct.)

Booklist Review

Tiny Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, is notorious for a number of reasons, among them its members' relentless picketing against gays ( God hates Fags ) and at the funerals of fallen soldiers ( Thank God for Dead Soldiers ), the latter of which would lead to a five-year-legal battle that landed in the Supreme Court, whose justices ruled in favor of Westboro on First Amendment grounds. Phelps-Roper, the granddaughter of Westboro founder Fred Phelps, offers an insider's look at the church and its rationale, To love our neighbor was to rebuke him, to warn him away from the sins that would result in punishment from God. Picketing as early as age five, the author grew up to become the church's spokesperson on Twitter, where she met the man who would become her husband while, at the same time, she was beginning to question the beliefs inculcated in her by the church. Her doubts eventually resulted in her leaving the church. Hers is a detailed, reasoned account that offers a fascinating look at a still bewildering phenomenon.--Michael Cart Copyright 2019 Booklist

Kirkus Book Review

A religious and political activist tells the story of how she grew up in and then left the extremist Westboro Baptist Church.As the granddaughter of the church founder, Phelps-Roper grew up in a large, tightly knit family that believed "God ruled via the parents and elders." What that meant in practice was that she had to assimilate a church culture emphasizing "the celebration and mockery" of the tragedies that befell nonbelievers. Throughout childhood and adolescence, Phelps-Roper lived a double life. At school, she was a dedicated student who kept matters of faith out of her discussions with teachers and classmates. Outside of school, she and the members of her church community were vocal protesters against homosexuality, adultery, and the morally bankrupt nature of society. When Westboro's "picketing ministry" brought it into the media spotlight, Phelps-Roper became one of the most visible spokespeople for the church. As a young adult, she traveled all over the country to show "that the Bible really did say what [the Westboro Church] claimed it did." By 2011, she became her church's voice on Twitter, where she routinely "bait[ed] celebrities with anti-gay messages" and celebrated such tragedies as the Fukushima nuclear disaster. She also started communicating with an anonymous lawyer who engaged her in intelligent and respectful theological debate. As she began questioning her religious beliefs, she realized that she was also falling in love with the lawyer, who eventually became her husband. Phelps-Roper soon found she could no longer support the cruelty and "all or nothing" nature of her faith. After Westboro leadership became even more conservative and hypocritical, she and a free-spirited younger sister made the excruciating decision to leave both the church and their family. Eloquent and entirely candid, the book offers an intimate look at a controversial church while telling the moving story of how one woman found the courage to stand against the people and beliefs that she held dearest.A heartfelt and richly detailed memoir. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Author notes provided by Syndetics

Megan Phelps-Roper is a writer and activist. She left the Westboro Baptist Church in November 2012 and is now an educator on topics related to extremism and communication across ideological lines. She lives in South Dakota.