The memory of light /

Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:

This beautiful novel from the author of Marcelo in the Real World about life after a suicide attempt is perfect for fans of All the Bright Places and Thirteen Reasons Why .When Vicky Cruz wakes up in the Lakeview Hospital Mental Disorders ward, she knows one thing: After her suicide attempt, she shouldn't be alive. But then she meets Mona, the live wire; Gabriel, the saint; E.M., always angry; and Dr. Desai, a quiet force. With stories and honesty, kindness and hard work, they push her to reconsider her life before Lakeview, and offer her an acceptance she's never had.But Vicky's newfound peace is as fragile as the roses that grow around the hospital. And when a crisis forces the group to split up, sending Vicky back to the life that drove her to suicide, she must try to find her own courage and strength. She may not have them. She doesn't know.Inspired in part by the author's own experience with depression, The Memory of Light is the rare young adult novel that focuses not on the events leading up to a suicide attempt, but the recovery from one -- about living when life doesn't seem worth it, and how we go on anyway.

Excerpt provided by Syndetics

From The Memory of Light : "What happened, mi niña? Why you do something so horrible? Something happen in school?" "No, no." "Do you miss your mamá? I miss her too. Your mamá wouldn't want you to do this." "I know," I say, rubbing my eyes with my hands. "Who hurt you, mi niña? Tell me." "No one, Nana, no one hurt me. It just hurts inside, I don't know why." "Is it Barbara? Is that what happen?" "No . . ." I have no answers to these questions, no explanations that make any sense. I feel my head shrinking, tightening with pressure, as if I were taking an exam in a foreign language on a subject I never even knew existed. "She okay. She tries. She needs learn to smile. So serious always. But she not bad inside. Your father, he loves you also. They sometimes confused about how to love. But they okay." It is so painful to hear Juanita's voice. Why? "Nana, I have to go. I wanted to let you know I'm okay. This thing I did. Taking the pills. It doesn't mean I don't love you." "I know that, my niña, I know. I no never have doubts. Don't worry. I be here waiting for you. Diosito didn't want you to die." "I have to go now, Nana." "Don't cry, my little baby. Everything okay. You see." The call ends. I lie there for I don't know how long, my hand on the telephone, as if I'm afraid to let go of the voice that flowed through it. It is possible, I realize, to have people in your life who love you and who you love, and to still want to kill yourself. It's almost as if part of the reason you're doing it is for them, because you are not worthy of their love, and you want to stop being a burden to them, contaminating their lives with your moodiness and grumpiness and miserableness. I feel Juanita's love now. And it makes me feel so much worse. Excerpted from The Memory of Light by Francisco X. Stork All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.

Reviews provided by Syndetics

Publishers Weekly Review

Vicky Cruz, 16, "put[s] on strong every morning," trying to please her demanding father, a emotionally stunted man who married his assistant shortly after the death of his wife, six years earlier. But when Vicky's father summarily fires her beloved, arthritic nanny, paying for her to return to Mexico, Vicky surrenders to the "soul pain" she has felt for years and swallows a bottle of her stepmother's sleeping pills. Stork (Marcelo in the Real World) writes sensitively about Vicky's journey from near death to shaky recovery, discussing his own experience with depression in an afterword. Awakening in a public hospital's psych ward, Vicky attends group therapy with patients who have a catalogue of disorders, and learns from them to value her strengths. Various studies have estimated that perhaps as many as one in five teens has a diagnosable mental health problem; it's a subject that needs the discussion Stork's potent novel can readily provide. Vicky isn't healed, but she finds a reason to keep living, and that constitutes progress worth celebrating. Ages 12-up. Agent: Faye Bender, the Book Group. (Jan.) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

School Library Journal Review

Gr 9 Up-After attempting to commit suicide in her bedroom, Vicky Cruz wakes up in the psychiatric wing of the hospital. Exhausted and nearly catatonic, Vicky goes through the motions asked of her by the quiet but firm Dr. Desai while intending to stay only the mandatory time before going home to try again. After attending group therapy with the other three young people on the ward-her energetic roommate Mona, intimidating E.M., and angelic Gabriel, however, Vicky accepts Dr. Desai's help in convincing her domineering father to let her stay. As Vicky begins intensive treatment, things start to look up, but the looming question of whether she and her friends can survive in the outside world remains. Stork's latest starts slow, with a cold, dry tone that mirrors Vicky's own emotional depletion. As the new environment and people begin to reach Vicky, however, the prose follows suit, growing smoothly into a warm and powerful tone. Unlike many novels about teens and suicide, this work focuses entirely on recovery. Vicky is dealing with a deep depression born from her mother's death and learns not only to name her illness but to cope with the effects and stand up for her needs. Stork's depiction of depression deftly avoids the traps of preaching or romanticizing and instead is accurate, heartbreaking, and hopeful. VERDICT A beautiful read that adds essential depth to the discussion of teens and mental illness.-Amy Diegelman, Vineyard Haven Public Library, MA © Copyright 2016. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Booklist Review

*Starred Review* When high-school sophomore Vicky Cruz wakes up in the hospital psychiatric ward after a failed suicide attempt, she knows it's only a matter of time before she tries again. She agrees to stay for two weeks, not because she thinks it will change anything, but because she can't bear pretending anymore. Through Vicky's interactions with others in group therapy chatty, energetic Mona; bold, angry E.M.; and preternaturally wise Gabriel she finds acceptance and understanding, while her sessions with kindly Dr. Desai help reframe her life from the perspective of someone with an illness that needs treatment, not someone who isn't trying hard enough. While the final third of the novel is crowded with less-credible action sequences, including a near drowning and a violent confrontation with an abuser, overall Vicky's story has undeniable emotional strength and an encouraging, compassionate message. Stork (Marcelo in the Real World, 2009) writes his characters with authenticity and respect, from their inner lives to their economic and cultural backgrounds (Vicky is Mexican American). As Vicky gradually recovers and begins to imagine her future, other characters work out their damaging assumptions as well. Though occasionally message heavy, this important story of a teenager learning to live with clinical depression is informative and highly rewarding.--Hutley, Krista Copyright 2015 Booklist

Horn Book Review

Already suffering from an overwhelming emotional pain and exhausted from pretending that everything is fine, the second-to-last thing sixteen-year-old Vicky Cruz wanted was to wake up in Lakeview Hospitals mental ward. The last thing she wanted was to wake up at all. Feeling like a failure at lifeand now even at deathVicky reluctantly agrees to stay for treatment and is surprised to find herself connecting with fellow patients Mona, E. M., and Gabriel, three veteran mentals who, together with Vicky, are guided by Dr. Desai to explore the issues that plague each of thembipolar disorder, anger management, schizophrenia, and clinical depression. Vicky begins to examine the thoughts that led to her suicide attempt and slowly to heal; outside the hospital, though, the reality of no friends, a family grown distant in the wake of her mothers death, and the imminent departure of her beloved nana looms large. Grounded in the protagonists journey, the first-person narration gives shape to the intricacies of Vickys thoughts, her illness, and what she learns about both. Partially inspired by his own experiences, Stork (Marcelo in the Real World, rev. 3/09) imbues his characters with honest pain and humor, lending truth to their struggles with such issues as mental illness, class tensions, domestic violence, grief, and survival. anastasia m. collins (c) Copyright 2016. The Horn Book, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

Kirkus Book Review

After a failed suicide attempt, 16-year-old Vicky Cruz wakes up in a hospital's mental ward, where she must find a path to recoveryand maybe rescue some others. Vicky meets Mona, Gabriel, and E.M.a clan very different from Vicky primarily because of their economic limitationsat Lakeview Hospital. There, with the guidance of their group-therapy leader, Dr. Desai, they daily delve into deep-seated issues that include anger management, bipolar disorder, clinical depression, and schizophrenia. Beyond the hospital walls, Vicky's school friends amount to zero, and her future plans are difficult to conjure. Vicky has a flawed family: Becca, her Harvard-student sister, has grown distant; Miguel, her temperamental first-generation father, married Barbara only six months after Vicky's mother died of cancer; and collectively the two are sending Vicky's longtime nanny, Juanita, back to Mexico. A quick first-person narration guides readers through the complexity of Vicky's thoughts and, more importantly, revelations. From her darkest moments to welcome comedic respites to Emily Dickinson's poetry, Stork remains loyal to his characters, their moments of weakness, and their pragmatic views, and he does not shy away from such topics as domestic violence, social-class struggles, theology, and philosophy. Following Schneider Award-winning Marcelo in the Real World (2009), Stork further marks himself as a major voice in teen literature by delivering one of his richest and most emotionally charged novels yet. (Fiction. 12 up) Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Author notes provided by Syndetics

Francisco X. Stork (he/him) emigrated from Mexico at the age of nine with his mother and his adoptive father. I Am Not Alone is his tenth novel. Other novels include: Marcelo in the Real World , recipient of the Schneider Family Book Award, The Last Summer of the Death Warriors , which received the Elizabeth Walden Award, The Memory of Light , recipient of the Tomás Rivera Award, Disappeared , which received the Young Adult Award from the Texas Institute of Letters and was a Walter Dean Myers Award Honor Book and Illegal , recipient of the In the Margins Award, the Young Adult Award from the Texas Institute of Letters and the International Latino Book Award. On the Hook published in 2021, received four starred reviews and was the recipient of the International Latino Book Award.