| Introduction: The Humility of Loudmouth Know-it-all Asshole Atheists |
|
xiii | |
| The Bible's First Commandment |
|
|
Siegfried, Roy, Montecore, Penn, and Leather Pants |
|
|
3 | (8) |
|
What's the G on the Joint? |
|
|
11 | (5) |
|
|
|
16 | (25) |
| The Bible's Second Commandment |
|
|
Pastor Shirley, My Mom and Dad, Lesbians, and Jesus Christ |
|
|
41 | (7) |
|
Auto-Tune, Tattoos, and Big Fake Tits |
|
|
48 | (11) |
| The Bible's Third Commandment |
|
|
Preach to Me and Pray for Me—Please! |
|
|
59 | (7) |
|
|
|
66 | (9) |
|
Agnostics: No One Can Know for Sure but I Believe They're Full of Shit |
|
|
75 | (8) |
| The Bible's Fourth Commandment |
|
|
Learning to Fly, Strip, and Vomit on a 727 |
|
|
83 | (12) |
|
Supreme Court Justice Ron Jeremy |
|
|
95 | (6) |
|
I Also Couldn't Get Laid in a Women's Prison with a Fistful of Pardons |
|
|
101 | (13) |
|
|
|
114 | (9) |
| The Bible's Fifth Commandment |
|
|
|
|
123 | (5) |
|
Passing Down the Joy of Not Collecting Stamps |
|
|
128 | (4) |
|
|
|
132 | (17) |
| The Bible's Sixth Commandment |
|
|
Why I'm a Libertarian Nut Instead of Just a Nut |
|
|
149 | (3) |
|
The Three Dogmas That Hurt Americans Most |
|
|
152 | (2) |
|
Jamie Gillis: April 20, 1943—February 19, 2010 |
|
|
154 | (2) |
|
Penn's Bacon and a Kiss Airlines |
|
|
156 | (11) |
| The Bible's Seventh Commandment |
|
|
Pitching Bullshit While in Mourning |
|
|
167 | (8) |
| The Bible's Eighth Commandment |
|
|
Maybe That Thief Kreskin Will Sue Me This Time |
|
|
175 | (8) |
|
|
|
183 | (8) |
| The Bible's Ninth Commandment |
|
|
In America, Noblesse Oblige Isn't Just for Noblemen |
|
|
191 | (4) |
|
Would This Seem Crazy If You Read It in a Book? |
|
|
195 | (4) |
|
It's Not the Heat, It's the Stupidity |
|
|
199 | (6) |
| The Bible's Tenth Commandment |
|
|
You Could Be Bruce Springsteen |
|
|
205 | (6) |
|
"Things Like This Don't Happen to Normal People": The Greatest Story Ever Told |
|
|
211 | (9) |
|
|
|
220 | (5) |
| Afterword: Atheism Is the Only Real Hope Against Terrorism: There Is No God (but Allah) |
|
225 | (6) |
| Acknowledgments |
|
231 | |