| Introduction |
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3 | (4) |
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7 | (4) |
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11 | (8) |
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All Girls Must Be Everything |
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19 | (8) |
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Delaware County Summer Showtime! |
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27 | (18) |
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45 | (12) |
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Climbing Old Rag Mountain |
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57 | (10) |
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Young Men's Christian Association |
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67 | (14) |
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The Windy City, Full of Meat |
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81 | (8) |
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My Honeymoon, or A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again Either |
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89 | (14) |
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The Secrets of Mommy's Beauty |
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103 | (12) |
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Remembrances of Being Very Very Skinny |
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115 | (2) |
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Remembrances of Being a Little Bit Fat |
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117 | (2) |
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A Childhood Dream, Realized |
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119 | (14) |
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133 | (10) |
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I Don't Care If You Like It |
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143 | (4) |
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Amazing, Gorgeous, Not Like That |
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147 | (16) |
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163 | (6) |
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30 Rock: An Experiment to Confuse Your Grandparents |
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169 | (28) |
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Sarah, Oprah, and Captain Hook |
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197 | (40) |
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There's a Drunk Midget in My House |
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237 | (8) |
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A Celebrity's Guide to Celebrating the Birth of Jesus |
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245 | (10) |
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255 | (6) |
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The Mother's Prayer for Its Daughter |
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261 | (4) |
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What Turning Forty Means to Me |
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265 | (2) |
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What Should I Do with My Last Five Minutes? |
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267 | (10) |
| Acknowledgments |
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277 | |