Your turn : how to be an adult / Julie Lythcott-Haims.

Enhanced descriptions from Syndetics:

New York Times bestselling author Julie Lythcott-Haims is back with a groundbreakingly frank guide to being a grown-up

What does it mean to be an adult? In the twentieth century, psychologists came up with five markers of adulthood: finish your education, get a job, leave home, marry, and have children. Since then, every generation has been held to those same markers. Yet so much has changed about the world and living in it since that sequence was formulated. All of those markers are choices, and they're all valid, but any one person's choices along those lines do not make them more or less an adult.

A former Stanford dean of freshmen and undergraduate advising and author of the perennial bestseller How to Raise an Adult and of the lauded memoir Real American , Julie Lythcott-Haims has encountered hundreds of twentysomethings (and thirtysomethings, too), who, faced with those markers, feel they're just playing the part of "adult," while struggling with anxiety, stress, and general unease. In Your Turn , Julie offers compassion, personal experience, and practical strategies for living a more authentic adulthood, as well as inspiration through interviews with dozens of voices from the rich diversity of the human population who have successfully launched their adult lives.

Being an adult, it turns out, is not about any particular checklist; it is, instead, a process, one you can get progressively better at over time--becoming more comfortable with uncertainty and gaining the knowhow to keep going. Once you begin to practice it, being an adult becomes the most complicated yet also the most abundantly rewarding and natural thing. And Julie Lythcott-Haims is here to help readers take their turn.

Reviews provided by Syndetics

Publishers Weekly Review

Lythcott-Haims, former dean of undergraduate advising at Stanford, follows up her 2016 How to Raise an Adult with this valuable guide to "adulting." The author puts aside traditional markers of adulthood--education, employment, moving out, marriage, and children--in favor of a vision of becoming an adult as a "delicious" process of "wanting to, having to, and learning how" to fend for oneself, discover one's passions, and find one's chosen family. Refreshingly, Lythcott-Haims avoids talking down to readers and instead connects through vulnerability--particularly an illuminating anecdote about the author clashing with Stanford administrators, accepting criticism with maturity, and being rewarded with a large promotion for her candor in discussions. Narratives from successful people in the author's extended network form the lion's share of the text--including journalist Irshad Manji, a queer Muslim woman who shows how "moral courage" is the key to "being good at having tough conversations," and a film agent who focused on community theater to revitalize a passion for his career--along with accounts from students she has counseled, family friends, and colleagues. Lythcott-Haims also shares sound workplace advice (prepare, play well with others, join the ecosystem, and find a mentor) and 16 principles of good character, among them "embrace that your purpose in life is to learn and grow." Those overwhelmed by the demands of adulthood would do well to check this out. (Apr.)

Booklist Review

Lythcott-Haims, a former dean at Stanford and author of the best-selling How to Raise an Adult (2015), now addresses twentysomethings, emphasizing the importance of "fending," that is, knowing "it's on you to handle something, and you're pretty sure you can at least give it a try." Fending and supporting yourself are the main ingredients in "adulting," she writes, while offering tips on talking to strangers, taking care of yourself, learning to cope, making the world better, and unleashing the powers of kindness and gratitude. Lythcott-Haims speaks frankly but respectfully to her readers, sharing many of her own gaffs, struggles, and successes. As a Black, biracial, and queer woman, she has faced many of the challenges faced by her audience, and she takes on complicated issues, including those pertaining to gender, sexuality, and culture. In the "Don't Just Take My Word for It" segments at the end of each chapter, she interviews sexually and culturally diverse young people who have survived seemingly impossible odds to achieve their goals. For Lythcott-Haims, success is about fulfillment, not money. With direct, encouraging, and heartfelt advice, Lythcott-Haims covers a lot of sensitive, relevant, and crucial territory.

Kirkus Book Review

Constructive techniques to help young adults transition into productive grown-ups. As any adult will tell you, becoming an adult involves so much more than just reaching a certain age. It also requires flexibility, problem-solving skills, and the ability to handle difficult situations without panicking or running to your parents for help. "Adulting can't be boiled down to ten tips or even a thousand," writes Lythcott-Haims in this natural follow-up to How To Raise an Adult. "Being an adult is a state of mind that ignites the 'doing' that ends up forging your adult self. It's part wanting to, part having to, and part learning how. The hardest part is that because it's happening in your own mind you pretty much do it by yourself." Thankfully, the author, a former Stanford dean of freshman and mother of "two itinerant young adults," is equipped with a wide-ranging collection of concepts that will make young adults feel like they are not alone in the process. She uses her own life situations as well as examples from people she's interviewed to help convey the specific message expressed in each chapter. Topics include figuring out how to fend for yourself, developing a good character, learning how to handle your finances (invest early!), and maintaining a healthy body and mind. Regarding the latter, the author delves into mindfulness and the importance of being both grateful and kind, two attributes more necessary now than ever. Although the book is overlong and doesn't present any groundbreaking discoveries, the author brings fresh, invigorating energy to her mostly common-sense information. Her conversational prose and can-do attitude will entice readers to make it to the end of this lengthy book, emerging with a greater sense of what adulting means and how to proceed with confidence and enthusiasm. The author's sensible advice and friendly tone will help many young readers grow into mature, responsible adults. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Author notes provided by Syndetics

Julie Lythcott-Haims is the New York Times bestselling author of How to Raise an Adult and Real American . She holds a BA from Stanford, a JD from Harvard Law School, and an MFA from California College of the Arts. She resides in the Bay Area with her partner, their two itinerant young adults, and her mother.