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Summary
Summary
Instant New York Times Bestseller!
The book we need NOW to avoid a social recession, Murthy's prescient message is about the importance of human connection, the hidden impact of loneliness on our health, and the social power of community.
Humans are social creatures: In this simple and obvious fact lies both the problem and the solution to the current crisis of loneliness. In his groundbreaking book, the 19th surgeon general of the United States Dr. Vivek Murthy makes a case for loneliness as a public health concern: a root cause and contributor to many of the epidemics sweeping the world today from alcohol and drug addiction to violence to depression and anxiety. Loneliness, he argues, is affecting not only our health, but also how our children experience school, how we perform in the workplace, and the sense of division and polarization in our society.
But, at the center of our loneliness is our innate desire to connect. We have evolved to participate in community, to forge lasting bonds with others, to help one another, and to share life experiences. We are, simply, better together.
The lessons in Together have immediate relevance and application. These four key strategies will help us not only to weather this crisis, but also to heal our social world far into the future.
During Murthy's tenure as Surgeon General and during the research for Together, he found that there were few issues that elicited as much enthusiastic interest from both very conservative and very liberal members of Congress, from young and old people, or from urban and rural residents alike. Loneliness was something so many people have known themselves or have seen in the people around them. In the book, Murthy also shares his own deeply personal experiences with the subject--from struggling with loneliness in school, to the devastating loss of his uncle who succumbed to his own loneliness, as well as the important example of community and connection that his parents modeled. Simply, it's a universal condition that affects all of us directly or through the people we love--now more than ever.
Reviews (3)
Publisher's Weekly Review
The compassionate first book from former Surgeon General Murthy draws attention to loneliness as a major public health risk. Drawing on current research and on personal experience as a physician to show how social isolation can exacerbate ailments such as heart disease, as well as mental health issues, Murthy demonstrates that human connection is an innate need. With urgency but not stridence, he argues for a renewed culture of civic engagement to strengthen the "prepolitical layer of voluntary associations" that De Tocqueville identified as cohesive for American life. Rather than people who are experiencing loneliness themselves, Murthy's intended readership consists of those who want to help, whether as medical professionals, social workers, teachers, or community volunteers. He offers them plenty of encouragement, with success stories from his own experience with patients and from others' grassroots initiatives. As an example of how to strengthen the place of community in one's life, he describes how the Physician Moms' Group, formed by a stressed doctor and new mother trying to connect with others like herself, grew from 20 to 70,000 members. His gentle approach to the topic has profound implications for both individual health care and community wellness. Agent: Richard Pine, InkWell. (Apr.)
Kirkus Review
The former surgeon general examines the health crises brought on by a more overarching plague: loneliness. "For more than a century," writes Murthy, "the physicians holding this office [the surgeon general's] have addressed national health crises ranging from yellow fever and influenza outbreaks to the aftermath of hurricanes and tornados to the terrorist attacks on 9/11." The epidemic he was called on to address took more insidious forms: eating disorders, depression, opioid and other chemical addiction, and suicide. All have in common a source in social dislocation--but not isolation, since being able to be alone can be a healthy thing--that in turn produces loneliness, the inability to summon human contact when human contact is wanted, even if one is in a room full of people. These days, the author writes, Americans aren't good at being with others, and it doesn't help that social media thrives on our loneliness, for which we turn to a world of virtual others for succor. Murthy's approach is anecdotal, sometimes annoyingly so: Not every observation needs an "I was Joe's anomie" story to back it, which blunts rather than sharpens the message. Still, the numbers are meaningful. As the author observes, there are more lonely or socially isolated people in America today than there are smokers, smoking having been a health problem that medicine and society banded together to do something about, never mind the tobacco lobbyists. Loneliness is more difficult to spot than a curl of smoke, and for that, Murthy offers some useful prescriptions, including teaching people "self-compassion," which "is what shields us from--or at least softens the blow of--the judgment and ridicule of people who don't understand us." Other measures for young people, who bear much of the weight of the epidemic, include setting aside more family time and encouraging offline as well as online play. A touch too pat at times but, overall, a well-considered diagnosis of a real and overlooked crisis in public health. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Booklist Review
A former U.S. Surgeon General makes the surprising case that an epidemic of loneliness is among the gravest health crises currently facing the country. Human connection is "our evolutionary birthright," yet the American culture of individualism and self-sufficiency has created a nation of individuals suffering from isolation, even as technology makes it easier than ever to stay in contact with our loved ones. While social media creates the impression that everyone else is popular and happy, a decline in shared public spaces chips away at robust communities and networks of support. Together resists the temptation to romanticize the past, recognizing that many close-knit communities can be suffocating to people who don't conform to a narrow, limiting set of ideals. Drawing from real-life initiatives across the world, Murthy offers a road map to a future that is less stifling than a purely collectivist culture and less isolating than an individualistic one, in which kindness and care for others become the reigning principles of American society. This book is a welcome tonic for an increasingly divided country.
Table of Contents
| Preface | p. xiii |
| Section I Making Sense of Loneliness | |
| Chapter 1 Under Our Noses | p. 3 |
| Chapter 2 The Evolution of Loneliness | p. 25 |
| Chapter 3 Cultures of Connection | p. 53 |
| Chapter 4 Why Now? | p. 97 |
| Chapter 5 Unmasking Loneliness | p. 151 |
| Section II Building a More Connected Life | |
| Chapter 6 Relating Inside Out | p. 185 |
| Chapter 7 Circles of Connection | p. 211 |
| Chapter 8 A Family of Families | p. 243 |
| Conclusion | p. 281 |
| Acknowledgments | p. 285 |
| Notes | p. 291 |
| Index | p. 309 |