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Summary
Summary
Picking up where Quiet ended, How to Be Yourself is the best book you'll ever read about how to conquer social anxiety.
"This book is also a groundbreaking road map to finally being your true, authentic self." --Susan Cain, New York Times , USA Today and nationally bestselling author of Quiet
Up to 40% of people consider themselves shy. You might say you're introverted or awkward, or that you're fine around friends but just can't speak up in a meeting or at a party. Maybe you're usually confident but have recently moved or started a new job, only to feel isolated and unsure.
If you get nervous in social situations--meeting your partner's friends, public speaking, standing awkwardly in the elevator with your boss--you've probably been told, "Just be yourself!" But that's easier said than done--especially if you're prone to social anxiety.
Weaving together cutting-edge science, concrete tips, and the compelling stories of real people who have risen above their social anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen proposes a groundbreaking idea: you already have everything you need to succeed in any unfamiliar social situation. As someone who lives with social anxiety, Dr. Hendriksen has devoted her career to helping her clients overcome the same obstacles she has. With familiarity, humor, and authority, Dr. Hendriksen takes the reader through the roots of social anxiety and why it endures, how we can rewire our brains through our behavior, and--at long last--exactly how to quiet your Inner Critic, the pesky voice that whispers, "Everyone will judge you." Using her techniques to develop confidence, think through the buzz of anxiety, and feel comfortable in any situation, you can finally be your true, authentic self.
Table of Contents
Prologue | p. 1 |
Part 1 I Thought It Was Just Me! Introducing Social Anxiety | |
1 The Root of It All: How Social Anxiety Takes Hold | p. 23 |
2 Social Anxiety Is Like an Apple Tree (or, Why Social Anxiety Has Stuck Around for Millennia) | p. 41 |
3 Your Brain on Social Anxiety | p. 59 |
Part 2 Looking Inside Your Head | |
4 How Our Inner Critic Undermines Us | p. 71 |
5 Think Different: Replace | p. 89 |
6 Think Different: Embrace | p. 98 |
Part 3 Heading Out into the World | |
7 Get Started and Your Confidence Will Catch Up | p. 117 |
8 No False Fronts in This Town: Play a Role to Build Your True Self | p. 124 |
9 Mountains to Molehills: It Gets Easier Every Time | p. 137 |
10 Putting It All Together: Your Challenge List | p. 142 |
Part 4 Busting the Myths of Social Anxiety | |
11 How (and Why) to Turn Your Attention Inside Out | p. 171 |
12 Seeing Is Believing: How You Feel Isn't How You Look | p. 181 |
13 "I Have to Sound Smart/Funny/Interesting": How Perfectionism Holds Us Back | p. 197 |
14 Why You Don't Have a Social Skills Problem (You Heard That Right) | p. 215 |
15 The Myth of Hope in a Bottle | p. 227 |
Part 5 All You Have to Be Is Kind | |
16 The Building Blocks of Beautiful Friendships (They're Not What You Think) | p. 233 |
Epilogue | p. 255 |
Author's Note | p. 263 |
Acknowledgments | p. 264 |
References | p. 267 |