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Summary
Summary
A comprehensive and intimate guide to finding, keeping, and enjoying love after fifty, the best kind of love there is.
Studies keep showing that love after fifty is more satisfying than at any other stage in life, and it makes sense: at this stage, you are more emotionally stable and more focused on the present; you know what you absolutely have to have, but also what you can live without; partnering is no longer about building family and fortune--it's about sharing intimacy as grounded individuals. And sex isn't pass/fail anymore, but about becoming erotic friends.
So, if this is the promised land, how do you get there?
In Love After 50 , journalist Francine Russo interviewed the best experts in the field and dozens of couples to help show the way. Her "practical, excellent guide" (John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work ) includes advice like:
-How to recover from the emotional damage of divorce, the grief of widowhood, or a history of unfulfilling relationships
-How to build realistic requirements for a partner
-What attitudes to bring to dating
-How to overcome the psychical challenges of sex and embrace your erotic selves
-How to evaluate the financial, emotional, and practical results of marrying, living together, or living apart
-How to deal with (hostile) adult kids to safeguard your relationship and family
Love After 50 is "essential reading" (Pauline Boss, PhD, author of The Myth of Closure ) that is not only practical but also unassuming and candid. It is full of real people's stories (including the author's), with vivid examples of couples who have overcome their pasts to form healthy and nurturing partnerships. In other words, it's as real as love after fifty can be.
Reviews (1)
Publisher's Weekly Review
Russo (They're Your Parents, Too!) delivers a heartfelt and insightful primer to finding love in middle age and beyond. After being widowed twice in a decade, Russo opened herself up again to love in her late 60s and became a "part of this wave of later life coupling" with her current partner, Michael. She plumbs her own hard-won experience to lend encouragement to those who've also been widowed or divorced, offering advice on, respectively, healing before moving forward and accepting one's role in a breakup before wading into the dating pool. "Credit yourself for having come though one of life's hardest trials," she writes, "and you can confront whatever comes your way." She also guides readers through the online dating world ("Ignore people who say only 'Hi, Gorgeous' "); gives tips on how to "Date as a Realist" ("Feeling pessimistic? No good! You're bound to undermine yourself"); and tackles such critical topics as sex during the senior years ("don't expect old bodies to act like young ones") and the possibility that one partner might need long-term care in the not-too-distant future. For those looking to start a healthy relationship in their later years, this is invaluable. (July)
Table of Contents
| Preface | p. ix |
| Section I Prepare Yourself | |
| 1 Do the Headwork | p. 3 |
| 2 Identify the Emotional Traits of Your Next Partner | p. 45 |
| Section II Start Dating | |
| 3 Master the Mechanics and Manners of Online Dating | p. 65 |
| 4 Reconsider Your Automatic Categories | p. 77 |
| 5 Date as a Realist: Are Negative Attitudes or Fantasies Sabotaging You? | p. 93 |
| 6 Navigate the Emotional Currents of Dating | p. 105 |
| Section III Create a Relationship to Cherish, and Make It Work | |
| 7 Try a Relationship | p. 125 |
| 8 Rediscover Sex-with a New Partner at a New Time of Life | p. 147 |
| 9 Live Together or Not, Marry or Not: Create the Relationship You Need | p. 179 |
| 10 Deal with the Kids-or Work Around Them | p. 203 |
| 11 Meet the Challenges, and Savor Every Moment | p. 227 |
| Acknowledgments | p. 245 |
| Resources | p. 247 |
| Notes | p. 251 |