Kirkus Review
A British journalist reflects on living with autism.From childhood, James knew that she behaved and thought differently from other youngsters. Hyperfocused and sensitive to external stimuli, she tried to fit in by copying the behavior of neurotypical girls her age. She also "create[d] imaginary worlds in my head" that suited her need for predictability, logic, space, and calm. Yet James would be in her mid-40s before a psychiatrist officially diagnosed her with autism. Until then, she "genuinely believed most of my problems stemmed from the fact that I was adopted as an infant." Told from the point of view of a mature adult looking back on and piecing together fragments of her earlier life, the introspective book intersperses the narrative of her present life as a married career woman and mother with reflections and stories about key moments from her past life. Success came only after overcoming great personal difficulties. Lacking in self-confidence, unable to secure a place in college, and fighting to "pass" for normal, James began adulthood with a disastrous marriage. Instead of making her feel complete, that unioncoupled with early motherhoodleft her feeling terrified and confused. Doctors misdiagnosed James and gave her medication that caused addiction and forced her into rehab. Her second, happy marriage was not without issues rooted in James' need for constant communication. Motherhood also brought its own challenges, including coping with an inability to deal with her children's negative emotions. At the same time, autism also contributed to the author's success in journalism. Her profession gave James structure and the leeway to ask "any question that pop[ped] into my head and[not be] seen as impolite." Witty and illuminating, James' book offers an intimate look into the mind and heart of an autistic woman who learns to understand her difference not as brokenness but as the thing that makes her unique.A candid and unexpectedly moving memoir of identity and psychological upheaval. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Booklist Review
British journalist James always knew that she had needs different from those of others. As a girl, she was overwhelmed by the social demands of the classroom and sent retreating into herself by overstimulating sensory experiences. In her adult life, she was chained to certain routines and behaviors, but for years wrote that off to severe anxiety. James considered herself defective. That was, until 2015, halfway through her forties, when she was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, completely altering her understanding of her own identity. As James came to learn, autism appears differently in everyone, especially among women, and the concept of a spectrum doesn't effectively describe the nuances of the condition. In this courageous and graceful memoir, James bares all. She shows how autistic women can have successful careers, even in communications, get married, travel, and raise strong children in a stiflingly neurotypical world. Readers will relish James' acceptance of herself and her neurodivergent standards of happiness and walk away with a new understanding of how autism actually functions.--Eathorne, Courtney Copyright 2018 Booklist
Library Journal Review
British author, journalist, and communications agency owner James has written an honest and revealing account of her life on the autism spectrum. Married and the mother of four children, James has always struggled with feeling different: "I am a cat, judging myself by dog behavior." She relates her troubles in accommodating anything new, as well as being particular about food and clothing, and how, with age, her meltdowns evolved into implosions. The author's eventual diagnosis, when she was in her forties, was the start of her self-acceptance. Janes's writing skills allow her to convey successfully the struggle people on the spectrum undergo in daily life, which she compares to drawing on an energy bank account that eventually becomes depleted. However, James is also encouraging as she portrays the positive: her ability to "zone into one subject and pull out the salient facts quickly and easily" is what makes her such a good journalist. Like John Elder Robison and Temple Grandin, James demonstrates the complexity of autism, with its strengths as well as weaknesses. VERDICT Recommended for anyone on the spectrum and for those who know someone who is (which covers most of the population).-Elizabeth Safford, Boxford Town Lib., MA © Copyright 2018. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
