I'd Like to Play Alone, Please

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Title:

Essays

Author:

Segura, Tom

Subject:

Biography & Autobiography

Humor (Nonfiction)

Nonfiction

Performing Arts

Description:

A #2 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more. Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra. In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet. I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.

Publisher:

Grand Central Publishing

Date:

2022/06/14

Digital Format:

HTML

ADOBE EPUB

KINDLE

Language:

English

Vendor:

Libby

Summary

A #2 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER

From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts "2 Bears 1 Cave" and "Your Mom's House," hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more.

Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It's not that he hates his friends and family -- he's not a monster -- he's just beat, which is why his son's (ruthless) first full sentence, "I'd like to play alone, please," has since become his mantra.

In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet.

I'D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.

Reviews (3)

Publisher's Weekly Review

"Inside every smart-ass is the person they're publicly scared to be," muses comedian Segura in this irreverent collection of personal stories, his debut. Though he's performed on stage with big names like Chris Rock, Jon Stewart, and Dave Chappelle, Segura reveals to readers that behind the jokes, he's a bit of a "softie" who still gets starstruck from time to time--as when, on a flight to L.A., he blurted out "you're the greatest" to tennis star Serena Williams (before remembering a bit he'd done about her "sitting on my face" in a Netflix special). He also cherishes his solitude: the book's title, inspired by the same request from his toddler, Segura admits is "a credo I deeply believe in." As he pokes fun at himself with hilarious anecdotes such as responding to social media trolls as his fake assistant, Segura delivers plenty of twisted "just-kidding" jokes to make sure the readers are paying attention, including one about spending a spring in Paris with the late infamous sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. While his brand of profane humor certainly isn't for everyone (following the Epstein gag, he archly posits that maybe the Taliban aren't "so bad," but instead "guys you want to have a beer with"), Segura's candor is undeniably entertaining. Fans will find this a riot. (June)

Kirkus Review

A stand-up comedian and popular podcaster riffs on his life and career in a series of personal essays. Tongue firmly in cheek, Segura elevates being average and occasionally obscene to something approaching the extraordinary. The son of a Catholic Vietnam veteran who loved to talk "about shitting, farting, wiping, or wishing he was doing one of those things," the author once thought to become a cardiothoracic surgeon because it sounded impressive. Instead, he cultivated a cutting wit he used to dispel attacks from schoolmates who called him "gringo" during the summers he spent in his mother's native Peru. Stateside, Segura developed a deep appreciation for Black culture, especially comedians like Chris Rock, while also dreaming of becoming a football star like Deion Sanders. However, he was "borderline special needs level" in school, which caused him to miss out on scholarships, and excessive weight kept him "play[ing] on the line with the other fatties." Later, he remarks that his heaviness did have the unexpected benefit of keeping him alive after an unintended mega-overdose of GHB during college. Segura's savage honesty can be traced back to an "anxious, paranoid" mother with "exemplary manners" whom he calls "legit funny," largely because of an "inability to bite her tongue." The author acknowledges that his own lack of a filter has caused him severe embarrassment. In recalling an airplane encounter with Serena Williams, he recommended she get to know his work through a Netflix special--only to remember later on that the show featured a death-fantasy bit about Serena "sitting on my face" and her sister Venus "polishing me off, and they're trying to fit a racket in my ass or something like that." While Segura's off-color humor is not for everyone, his fans will doubtlessly enjoy both his essays and the included black-and-white photos. Often crude but undeniably funny. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Library Journal Review

From youthful missteps to the travails of parenting to the fun (maybe?) of celebrity encounters, popular standup comedian and podcaster Segura ( 2 Bears 1 Cave, Your Mom's House) weaves together stories from his life that explain why he's frazzled enough to agree occasionally with his young son's plea: "I'd like to play alone, please." With a 100,000-copy first printing.