Handley Regional Library System: Parent Hacks: Child Communication

Child Communication

How Do I Talk To My Kid?

Sometimes, talking to kids can feel like speaking another language. Why do they love the word "no" but never seem to hear when grownups say it? Keep reading for a few basic tips on communicating with your child or check out our list of helpful books!

1. Use "Do" instead of "Don't". We use this in the library a lot! For example, instead of telling your child to "stop running", try "Let's walk in the library," or "Please use your walking feet!"

2. Use simple directions. Children develop the ability to understand multi-step directions around 2 or 3 but take until around 5 to process anything complex. Using one-step, simple directions (or multi-step directions split up) will help younger kids with following these directions.

3. Ask your child to repeat what you've said. This not only confirms that your child heard and understood what you've told them but also gives your child a chance to process the meaning of the words. Make sure to be patient, it can take a moment!

4. If they're still struggling with listening... there may be underlying reasons. Make sure to talk to an expert or doctor about your challenges. Things like hearing impairments, neurodivergence, and more can affect how your child processes the world, including your words.

Books about #childcommunication

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
by Adele Faber

This bestselling classic by internationally acclaimed experts on communication between parents and children includes fresh insights and suggestions, as well as the author’s time-tested methods to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships.

Check out more from this author including this book for Teens and in Spanish.

What Do You Say?: How to Talk with Kids to Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance, and a Happy Home
by William Stixrud

If you're a parent, you've had a moment--maybe many of them--when you've thought, How did that conversation go so badly? At some point after the sixth grade, the same kid who asked why non-stop at age four suddenly stops talking to you. And the conversations that you wish you could have suddenly feel nearly impossible to execute. The good news is that effective communication can be cultivated, learned, and taught. And as you get better at this, so will your kids.

Features chapters such as "Comunicating a Nonanxious Presence," "The Hard Ones: Talking to Kids about Sleep and Technology," and "What About Consequences?"

The Complete Guide to Baby Sign Language: 200+ Signs for You and Baby to Learn Together
by Lane Rebelo

Infants and toddlers can use sign language well before they can speak, offering an exciting opportunity for the two of you to communicate in deeper and more complete ways. Start things off with baby sign language essentials--like eat, more, and all done--then move on to more complex ideas--like different foods, the outside world, opposites, and emotions.

¿Hablas español? Leer El Gran Libro de Baby Sign.

How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7
by Joanna Faber

Faber and King, each a parenting expert in her own right, share their wisdom accumulated over years of conducting How To Talk workshops with parents, teachers, and pediatricians.What do you do with a little kid who…won’t brush her teeth…screams in his car seat…pinches the baby...refuses to eat vegetables…throws books in the library...runs rampant in the supermarket? Organized by common challenges and conflicts, this book is an essential manual of communication strategies, including a chapter that addresses the special needs of children with sensory processing and autism spectrum disorders. With a lively combination of storytelling, cartoons, and observations from their workshops, Faber and King provide concrete tools and tips that will transform your relationship with the children in your life.

Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High Schoo
by Michelle Icard

A member of the Today show parenting team presents fourteen essential conversations that parents should have with their tweens and early teenagers to prepare them for the challenges they will face as they enter their high school years.

See more by this author here!

Voice Lessons for Parents: What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Listen
by Wendy Mogel

Renowned speaker, parenting expert Dr. Wendy Mogel offers an essential guide to the new art of talking to children, and shows how a change in voice can transform conversations and ease the relationship between parents and children.

Angela Duckworth, author of Grit, says, "Wisdom for parents of children of all ages from one of the most astute psychologists on the planet."

Thriving With Autism: 90 Activities to Encourage Your Child's Communication, Engagement, and Play
by Katie Cook

Thriving with Autism provides an easy, effective toolbox to supplement and support the developmental work parents and caregivers are doing with their children. Featuring exercises like Acts of Friendliness, The Human Burrito, and Emotional Charades, this comprehensive guide encourages your child with autism to boost their communication, engagement, and self-regulation skills. Tackle these easy, research-driven activities one by one at home.

Still struggling with play? Check out Come and Play: Sensory-integration Strategies for Children with Play Challenges

Talk With Her: A Dad's Essential Guide to Raising Healthy, Confident, and Capable Daughters
by Kimberly Wolf

In Talk with Her, fathers learn that "communication" with daughters doesn't mean having "big" conversations all the time. The author covers nineteen fundamental topics defining a daughter's life with information fathers need to address them, including body positivity, gender and sexual identity, negative peer influence, academic achievement, and financial literacy.

More on raising daughters in Sexism and Sensibility.

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Handley Regional Library System
100 W Piccadilly St
Winchester, VA 22601
(540) 662-9041
https://www.handleyregional.org/