"From bumpy landing until bumpy takeoff, you spend your time in Poland looking at bad concrete. Everything is made of it-streets, buildings, floors, walls, ceilings, roofs, window frames, lampposts, statues, benches, plus some of the food, I think. Commies love concrete, but they don't know how to make it. Concrete is a mixture of cement, gravel and straw? No? Gravel, water and wood pulp? Water, potatoes and lard?"

On Sight-Seeing in Lebanon:

Important archaeological work has been done in Lebanon, exposing six millennia of human misbehavior. The country has been overrun in turn by Canaanites, Egyptians, Assyrians, Babylonians, Persians, Greeks, Romans, Arabs, Crusaders, Arabs again, Turks, French, more Arabs, Israelis and occasional U.S. Marines. Perhaps by means of the past one can begin to comprehend the present. Or learn which way to run from the future.

On the America's Cup:

Rich people are nuts for boats. The first thing that a yo-yo like Simon LeBon or Ted Turner does when he gets rich is buy a boat. And, if he's a high-hat kind of rich-that is, if he made his money screwing thousands of people in arbitrage instead of hundreds selling used cars-he buys a sailboat. I don't know about you, but if I got rich I'd buy something warm and weatherproof that held still, like a bar.

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Holidays in Hell by P. J. O'Rourke Copyright © 1988 by P. J. O'Rourke. Excerpted by permission.
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