I was working at the children’s reference desk when a 7-year-old kid approached me.
Kid: “Do you have a book on fire?”
Me: “Do you mean a book about how fire works?”
Kid: “No. Like how to start a fire.”
Suddenly, the kid’s mother, who had been using our self-checkout machines came rushing over, saying, “Oh god, not again!” and the pair quickly left the building.
Filed under 031.32 Curiosities and Wonders submission
Patron: “Can I ask a dumb question?”
Me: “Of course! There are no dumb questions!”
Patron: “All right…what does ‘multi’ mean?”
Me: “Oh, it means multiple. So a multi-use tool has multiple different uses.”
Patron: “Right. But how many exactly? Does it mean one or two or three, or what?”
Me: “Well, it means more than one.”
Patron: “But in numbers how many is it?”
Filed under 025.52 Reference Work 302.2 Miscommunication submission
Found inside a donated book.
Filed under 745.5 Found Objects submission
While checking out books, a patron casually mentioned to us and several other patrons that she has a dead squirrel in her car and is “kind of in a hurry, you know.”
Filed under 031.02 Curiosities and Wonders submission
I overheard a conversation between 5-year-old kid and her big brother.
Big brother: “I paid your fines for you. You owe me nine dollars.”
Little sister: “But I don’t have dollars!”
[beat]
Little sister: “I can pay you back when I’m six.”
Filed under 153.733 Listening In submission 808.879083 Children's Humor
Me [on phone]: “Hello this is the library calling. You recently turned in an empty DVD case. Can please look in your player?”
Woman: “Oh really? What’s it called?”
Me: “It Runs in the Family.”
Woman: “I BEG YOUR PARDON!”
Me: “That’s what it’s called! The DVD is called It Runs in the Family.”
Woman: “Oh, okay.”
Filed under 302.2 Miscommunication 621.385 Telephones submission
A young woman was standing around the entrance to the library before we opened, looking extremely impatient. As soon as the doors were unlocked, she very briskly walked to the front desk and immediately asked:
“Hi, do you give out Plan B at the library?”
Filed under 031.02 Curiosities and Wonders submission
A priest walked up to the desk and my computer went down as soon as I tried to check out his items for him. After I told him what was happening, he grabbed the top of my monitor with both hands and said, “Be healed! Be healed!”
Filed under 004.16 Computers submission
A woman approached me to say that she had not been in the library for over 20 years. She said, “Even though a lot has changed, this place still smells the same!”
Filed under 031.02 Curiosities and Wonders submission
Found by one of the children’s computers. They’re not connected to the net and just have educational games on them. The child obviously meant math but needs to work on his penmanship. :p
Filed under 808.879083 Children's Humor submission
Man [handing me a copy of his resume]: “I made it all up. How does it look?”
Me: “You made up the content of your resume?”
Man: “Yeah. Think I’ll get the job?”
Me: “I’m not sure. Good luck, though.”
Man: “Do you want to go out with me?”
Filed under libraries 031.02 Curiosities and Wonders iworkatapubliclibrary public libraries
Happy Valentine’s Day! <3
Filed under valentinesday libraries book displays books lit submission
A 5-year-old boy walked up to me at the desk in the children’s area.
Boy: “Our cat is dying today. But I’ve experienced a cat death before, so I’m prepared.”
Me [blinks]: “That’s sad. Being prepared is good?”
Boy [nods and runs to the other staff member to ask about Big Nate books]
Filed under 808.879083 Children's Humor submission libraries library librarians
A patron approached me at the desk.
Patron: “I’m looking for the U.S. Embassy in the U.S.”
Me: “Do you mean the U.S. Embassy in another country?”
Patron: “No, no! There must be one here. I need the address and phone number so I can call them.”
Me: “Well, the State Department may be the agency to call. But I can help you look for another country’s embassy in Washington D.C.”
Patron: “Okay, I’m looking for China, Japan, Africa…”
Me: “Which country in Africa?”
Patron: “Africa.”
Me [turns computer screen] “Here is a list of the countries in Africa. Is there one you were looking for?”
Patron: “Ganya.”
Me: “Ghana? I can find that.”
Patron: “I also need the embassy of Alaska.”
Me: “Alaska is part of the United States, so we have the same government. Alaska is a U.S. state.”
Patron [writes that down] “Oh it is! How nice. Good for them.”
Me: “What was the next country on your list?”
Filed under 302.2 Miscommunication submission 025.52 Reference Work publiclibraries libraries
I overheard a conversation between a young girl and her father.
Father: “But can’t you get these books at the school library?”
Girl: “No, they haven’t been getting any new ones lately.” [pause] “It’s very distressing.”
Filed under 153.733 Listening In 808.879083 Children's Humor submission